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I'm from a different generation than a lot of posters here, but for most women in my generation, I would explain it this way:
We are not as casual about nudity and sexuality as men. We associate nudity and sexuality with emotional intimacy. We don't understand why or how men separate nudity and sexuality from emotional intimacy and probably don't really believe that they can (although they definitely do!). We are operating on different premises. Our premises:
1. Physical intimacy is associated with emotional intimacy.
2. Strippers are physically intimate with men.
Therefore, men who want to go strip clubs want to be emotionally intimate with the strippers. This threatens our relationship with the men. We want them to hold the same value in the sharing of physical intimacy that we do.
Conversely, if men CAN separate the physical intimacy from emotional intimacy, then the emotional intimacy we think we are expressing when are sexual with "our" men is actually meaningless to them.
That is also threatening to our relationship.
There are women who are able to make that separation and/or understand that men can make that separation but still recognize that physical intimacy combined with emotional intimacy is more special, but that physical intimacy in that limited capacity can be harmless and fun for men... but not many.
Dee
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