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This topic just really came home to me a co-worker just told me the story of her niece rushing a few times with no bid extended. I think she was attempting to elicit some reason from me for this as the one sorority member she knows at work. Obviously I had none I don’t know the girl, the campus or the culture. Although I feel for her and her niece I can’t believe her family didn’t advise her to do something else, anything else!
Everyone understands that experiencing rejection is awful. The only thing that makes it feel better is time and living your life. Some rejections are worse than others, everyone knows romantic rejection can be life-altering and losing or not getting a certain job can be incredibly stressful. The best way that I have found to deal with it is to understand rejection as “re-direction.” My energy, my love, my time should not go to this particular job, man, creative project but should be re-directed elsewhere.
I think it is very much the same with sororities. If sorority membership has not been extended (esp. more than once) then it is time to concentrate your energies elsewhere.
Although it is admirable to go after what you want and try, try, again. This formula does not necessarily work out in terms of sorority recruitment. I wish it were different, but honestly one formal recruitment and one COR should be it, in fact I have seen that the more attempts at securing a bid actually decrease the chances of receiving one.
This has been posted about before, but I am worried about encouraging any woman to “never give up.” I think this is terrible advice. I’m also worried about any women who have this attitude. I think maybe there is something amiss in someone who has been turned away 2 or 3 times who goes back again. If the stove is hot, take your hand off.
Most, if not all, colleges and universities have counselors for undergraduate students. And I’m very serious in suggesting that if anyone is going back again and again to a place that has not welcomed them it is time to find out why they are pursuing the rejection, it is not a healthy pattern.
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