[AKA_Monet]

bgsugirlie,

I see it as an "equally yoked" thing... I see what others here are saying and to some level I agree with them. And I also think it is a matter of your own independence from your parents. How independent are you from your folks? If you are out on your own, finishing school with out their help, and you are okay with your choice in life, then I would say, go for what you seek in love...

However, upbringing has a lot to do with how you pursue a relationship and the expectation in one. You need to weigh your options and think about what kinds of life experiences are important for you now and in the future. Moreover, what is your guy's life experiences? Maybe he came from a family that did not pressure him to pursue college. Or maybe he's rebelling against his family. Maybe he's an heir to a super billion dollar corporation and can stroll in whenever--like Bruce Wayne... Or maybe he is just a bartender with only wanting to serve drinks for the rest of his life...

Whatever it his experiences are, YOU must be happy with that and YOU must never deviate from that or try to change him. Because if you do, it is YOU that will wind up unhappy with YOUR situation...

My husband is a Doctor of Veterninary Medicine. But for some reason, vets do not make the kinna cash that physicians do unless they have a mega-practice doing doggy face lifts for the rich and famous, etc. My husband is a research vet. and has a board certification is pathology which gives him more credentials to get more money based on his education.

Now, I could have married just about anyone. But I found the higher education I received, the harder it was to reconcile my values that I obtained through my upbringing to those who did not "fit" those qualifications, etc.

In marriage, it ain't about "happily ever after with the 3 bed, 2.5 ba house, 2.5 kids and 2 SUV's"... It is more about life insurance, beneficiaries, mortgage payments, nest egg, retirement savings, so on and so forth... If your parents what that same kinna life for you and do not want you to deviate from what they have provided for you--then you can either get it yourself--going back to that "independence thing" or you can try to marry into it... Either way, you still must have some level of independence in this world with the way things are going down now. It would be plain stupid to have total reliance on someone else for your breadwinning when you are an adult...

Believe me, I not into bullishting you... I am giving it to you straight up. You have the right to take it or leave it... But these are my experiences that I choose to share with you... I would be okay monetarily if I stayed by myself, unmarried. I would not be flashing the Cobalt Sports Yacht along with the $4 million dollar house on the beach... But, I would be okay in a decent house with a driveable car by myself...

But when I got married, all of that "financial stuff" must be discussed--not everything--but a lot of things... And before is better than after marriage... Because no matter what y'all think with the wedding planning stuff and the oh so beautiful stuff, the honeymoon period can be quickly over once y'all hit a financial downfall... And the way financial markets are going with a housing bubble bursting probability... Think long and hard of who you wanna be with during those times... And the US is at war... That hits financial markets hard in and of itself...