I don't really want to specify the similar circumstances that I experienced, but I might understand how you're feeling...
Realize that IT IS OK to be mad. You are absolutely right, it is sooooo frustrating to hear, "well just think about the good times" because that doesn't change a damn thing. You have lost an old friend unexpectedly and you have every right to be pissed. For me, it helped to do some activities that let me "vent" - running, listening to loud angry music (anything with electric guitars and screaming lyrics works). Kickboxing or just a punching bag are also very therapeutic. You are justifiably under a lot of stress and sometimes expressing it can be helpful.
Also, stay away from people who say stuff like "well they're in a better place now" or "God has them safe now." That always bugged the crap out of me. Great, I'm glad they're safe with the angels and all, but I'm here and I miss them! Don't feel selfish about wanting them here with you. It is extremely hard to equate meeting someone again in the afterlife with hearing their voice right next to you.
Trying to "take your mind off of it" is probably impossible, but sometimes it can be helpful if you do try to TEMPORARILY throw yourself into something else. i.e. "OK, I'm upset, really really upset, but I'm going to not think about this now. I'm going to clean my room/cook dinner/do laundry/scrub the sink/read for class tomorrow/do something for 15 minutes. Then I can think about this again." Then try to do something else for 30 minutes. I don't see this as avoiding the problem, it's just how I can cope with things sometimes.
Best of luck to you. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Please also realize that it will get easier. Not perfect. It would be BS to try and say that. It will just get easier. Everything is still very fresh and raw right now which is why it's consuming so much energy. You can get through this and you will get through this. Trust in that.
G8Ralphaxi
|