To my roommate: The last time I had the "clean your isht, you nasty heffa" conversation with you, you got visibly upset. I didn't give a .... then, but Im taking no prisoners tonight. This house will be clean. If there is one thing that I cannot stand, it is a NASTY AZZ WOMAN. Now I'm nobody's neat freak but this SH-T is ridiculous. Those dishes and that stank trash have been lying around for about a week. You knew it was your mess to clean when you put it there, so get it up! I tried to do the nice thing and speak to you like a WOMAN. However, it seems like you live like an ANIMAL. So, I guess I'll have to go crazy for you to understand me. Pick up that week old trash and take it to the dumpster! Wash those dishes and put them away!!! And about your gnat friends that have come to visit, THEY DISGUST ME! You need to find a way to get rid of your flying friends, but I'll make sure to complain to maintenance... and let them know that the bugs are here due to your NASTY BEHIND. I hate bugs. I hate people who eat my food without asking (your rude azz friend who WILL be buying me another box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch)! I didn't like you when I first moved in, but I damn sure don't like you now!!!
To my mother: Mommy, when I told you about my nasty roommate, you said "gnats only come around because people are being nasty". Truer words have never been spoken. I am fed up with the roommate BS, but I LOOOOOOVE YOU!!
