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Haha... this totally reminds me of an article one of my sorority sisters wrote for the "Daily Bruin" as a sports colomnists a couple of years ago. Here it is, luckily I have it on my computer saved since our archives don't go back that far...
"Who says Chicks can't play football"
You think we're nice. Or maybe you don't. Maybe you think we're elitist; maybe you think we're promiscuous; maybe you think we're things I can't print here.
But regardless of what you think we are, I'm sure you would not label sorority girls, football players.
Even though I'm pretty sure UCLA's defensive line doesn't subsist on Diet Coke and lettuce, football has been on the minds of more than just the "real" Bruin players this past week. Yes, it's sorority IM football playoff time.
You laugh, but this is no joke sorority IM football is intense.
There must be some Jekyll-and-Hyde complex going on because those girls you see on campus clad in Tiffany's and two pounds of lip-gloss change completely when it comes time to walk onto the North Athletic Field. The term "game face" takes on a whole new meaning for sorority girls without mascara and black eyeliner.
In fact, some of the moves girls try to get away with warrant the creation of a tackle IM league screw the flags. It's clear that IM football is becoming a better outlet than the therapists at the Ashe Center. Katy, one of my roommates, likes to describe how her hair is consistently "mistaken" for a flag.
Please that is not a mistake.
"At almost every game this season someone's tried to rip out my ponytail," she said. "They try to get away with these illegal moves, and they all pretty much work."
If you think we're afraid to break a nail, you've got it wrong because the girls who come out play and play rough. One of the girls had acrylic nails that would make Wolverine's adamantium claws look tame, and she scratched at my back to rip off my flag which, might I add, was around my waist, not my shoulders. Even a sorority girl angry at her boyfriend cannot compare to a sorority girl intent on taking you out in football. And I have to admit; I think we all like it.
The only generalization that seems to consistently hold true in these games is the girls are a little
starts with a "b," ends with a "y," and has the word "itch" in the middle.
At one game, a team's obvious ringleader stood on the sidelines, arms crossed over a tummy that showed one too many Pint Nights, and looked very stern, almost as if her life was riding on this game in an eerily Toledo-esque fashion.
"They're throwing to the chick with the blonde hair," she yelled to the girls on the field. "She's the only one who can catch!"
Besides the fact that all five of us on the field were blonde (surprised?), Kristin (the receiver in question) was not the only one who could catch. Instead, sideline girl had unknowingly figured out our play, which had worked for the entire first half.
Our team would have changed it up if the competition "competition" had only deciphered it sooner. 'What,' you ask, 'you have plays?' I'd share them, but you never know who might dig this out next season and prepare an adequate defense. All I'll say is that our most effective was dubbed the "Rainbow".
There is certainly a stigma attached to being a "sorority girl." The label always corresponds to shopping sprees with daddy's credit card instead of going to class, and of course, drinks afterwards.
But when the Bruin men invade the Rose Bowl tomorrow, look around in the stands. The girls sitting en masse with matching highlights and Ralph Lauren sunglasses staring intently at the field are mostly likely trying to decide how to convert the plays to five-on-five match-ups.
After all, it's never too early to prepare for next season.
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