I have a cousin and is engaged to be married to a wonderful woman. John (the cousin) is divorced and so is his fiance, Jen. John used to be a "Dead Head" (one that followed the Grateful Dead everywhere they went), and he got married to a fellow "Dead Head" that wanted to settle down and have a family. Well, John never really made the agreement to settle down to her. He continued to be a devoted "Dead Head". His ex-wife wanted to change him and he didn't get the whole idea of marriage equals settling down and not following the Grateful Dead around. Consequently, they divorced because one wanted to change the other and the other didn't want to settle down.

On the other hand, Jen (the fiance of John) divorced her husband because her ex-husband wanted her to have an abortion of their child. He requested this after she found out she was pregnant. They had both talked about kids and both wanted a child at the same time so they were following the same timeline. So, from then on out, they did the deed for the sole purpose of having a child. Well, she got pregnant and her ex-husband flipped out. He didn't want a child all of a sudden, blah, blah, blah. Until she had Aisy, she slept on the couch while waiting for the divorce to finalize.

Fast forward, a few months. John and Jen met and started dating. They get engaged and are getting married this month. They have a child together, Samantha, and John wants to adopt Aisy when they get married. He won't be able to do it because the ex-husband won't sign the custody papers, albeit he doesn't want anything to do with Aisy and he fought like hell to get visitation rights. No one understands why he won't give up custody rights other than it's a power and ego trip he's riding on presently.

In these two cases, I would rather get divorced than have pre-marital sex. I think everyone chooses their demons and deals with them accordingly. We're all humans and have a right to choose what we do in our lives. I am not going to judge someone based on those private decisions. Granted, I am not going to intentionally be around criminals, etc., and these types of people will deal with their actions either now or later.