[cashmoney]

I talked to her last night before miss-cashmoney got home. She said she was just really fucked up because she did a little over 5 grams of yay, which isnt what she does every weekend but she's been known do go on her little weekend coke binges from time to time when her fiance isnt around. She said she's alright and that while she's thought about it....she wouldnt actually kill herself. I don't know what to believe. And to be honest, I don't want her death on my hands should it happen. I told her I don't ever want to see her doing that shit around me again and that if she valued our friendship at all she'll lay off the coke and get her fucking head straight. Even though I'm a year younger than her I end up treating her like I'm her older brother who's making her get her ass in line. Its been my experience thats how you deal with women like her. She's not exactly a submissive type of woman and there's only one way to deal with chicks like that.

I'm thinking about suggesting therapy. But then I try to look at it from my angle. How would I take it if some of my friends suggested I go to therapy if I was just a little whacked out because of whats been happening at the moment? I'd be pissed that my friends are basically telling me I'm pyscho instead of being a real friend and trying to help me themselves. When I was going through a VERY hard time in my life the only person that was there for me when I really needed someone the most emotionally was my friend/old roomate from college whose name is Tony (the black guy mentioned in some of my posts). He's 10 years older than me.....he's one of the two who are the older brothers I never had. He never called my parents up and told them what was going on, they had no clue. When he thought I was on the extreme when it came to narcotics, he basically slapped me upside the head and made me straighten up in a way my parents or therapy could not have helped me. What I really needed was a good friend who would stay by me and help me rather than trying to convince me I needed to be shipped off to a shrink that would have done nothing but put me on medication. And that is why I'm having a hard time suggesting to her the therapy option. I don't know if I have the time and will to put in the effort to help her. One difference between her and I is that I wanted to get out of the rut I was in...with her, she said she wants to die. She's a little more dramatic than me and I don't know if thats just her overreacting and what she really ment was "hey, my life sucks so bad that I feel like dying and what I really need is someone to talk to me who I feel comfortable around." Its really confusing. That and if I spend a lot of time with her it's really not going to look good to both of our significant others.

I should get paid for being everyone's shrink.