I'm 20, and the summer I turned 19 I met a man who was 28... he was divorced with 2 kids that he had joint custody of. That's a lot of baggage for anyone to enter into a relationship with, let alone someone as young as myself. My parents/friends/family were apprehensive, but they trusted my judgement and that summer was one of the most educational experiences of my (young) life. I was in a relationship with someone who understood responsibility, and for once I wasn't playing "mind games" over who would call next. It was open, honest, and loving. I think his relationship with his children had a lot to do with it- he made sure that they ALWAYS came first, which I respected a great deal. It was probably one of the reasons I was so attracted to him- that he was such a great dad to his kids and had his priorities in order. We talked about marriage, but I knew I wasn't ready (not till after grad school, honey) and anyways, I had to return to college- 10 hours away- so a LT relationship wasn't that feasible.
In the year since that experience, he has not left my thoughts for a day. I've dated other people and so has he, but our hearts keep coming back to each other. We recently spent two days together, a reunion of sorts, and it was like letting out a deep breath that I never knew I was holding. We accept that we love each other, but where we are in our lives right now (distance and whatnot) prevents the kind of relationship we'd both like to have. I will be in school for the next 6 years, and I won't consider going to a school near him just for proximity's sake. I still have a great deal of life left to experience, and I'm not willing to return to my hometown just yet- and he can't leave b/c of the kids.
That being said... we do love each other. Enough to where each of us realizes that where we are right now is not compatible with a relationship. Perhaps in six years things will be different. Perhaps they won't be. But if I (or he) had let the idea of an age difference impede on our feelings for each other, I would not have learned so much about myself, nor would I have had the experience of loving and being loved by him. Barring everything else, we have a wonderful friendship, and I respect him and his choices a great deal.
Relationships can take many forms- my parents were 9 years apart when they married, and while they were only married 7 years, their relationship flourishes today. They are best friends and talk every day, and have been wonderful in raising myself and my sister. They love each other even more now that they are not married, and their relationship is one I would take in a heartbeat. Their incompatibility as a couple had nothing to do with their ages- they are much closer now that ever before.
Just my $0.02. It may not make any sense, but hey, if you can't ramble on GC, where can you ramble?
