This is going to sound silly, but I'm going to say it anyway, because it's saved my butt a time or two. If a PNM says something rude to you, or asks you a question that makes you go brain-dead, pretend like you didn't hear her! Don't not acknowledge that she's said anything; just say, "I'm sorry, what did you say? All the noise in here makes it really hard to hear sometimes." *Big smile*
If the PNM realizes that what she's said was stupid, she may think twice about repeating herself, thereby saving you from having to reply. Or, if she does repeat herself, it gives you a good 10 or 15 seconds from the time she first said it to the time she finishes saying it again to come up with a good answer!
I had this happen to me last year. My chapter had several pictures of previous bid days hanging near our sisterhood table--professional pictures with captions on them describing exactly what they were ("2003 New Members, All Sororities," "2003 Delta Zeta New Members," etc.), not just random snapshots. I was showing this table to an unenthuiastic PNM when she asked me, "Why do y'all have four of the same pictures up back there?" in a rather nasty voice. My first thought was to say something like, "Well, if you could read, you'd know they weren't the same pictures, stupid." I didn't, however, and I replied, "I'm sorry, I couldn't understand you. It's a bit noisy in here," with a big smile. She repeated her question in an even more obnoxious voice, because, apparently, she now thought that I was not only stupid but deaf. In the amount of time it took for her to ask me the question twice, I managed to formulate a polite reply, explaining that some of the pictures were of all the 2003 PNMs who completed recruitment and some were of the 2003 Delta Zeta new members, and whatever else the pictures were. I guess she thought I made her look dumb or something (she really didn't need any help), because she replied, "Yeah, well, you have lipstick on your teeth!" (I didn't.) I passed her off to the next sister as quickly as possible!
ETA: That girl was cut by all five chapters the next day, so I can only assume she was probably just as rude to them as she was to me.
