[ms_gwyn]

I have pm'ed 2 people (for myself) with regards to possible help and that offer was posted, I did ask if this was ok to do so and they didn't have to reply if they did not wish to, it was a good thing and a friendship developed from it.

I also pm'ed 2 people asking for advice on how to "weed out the crazies", but I never heard back from them, which was ok, I also clearly stated that is was not for my own pursuit, but I took it upon myself to help someone else out (and it was my offer, they did not ask me), I did come up with some questions and it went from there.

I have been as honest as I could in my AI thread. I stated that I had my group at the bottom of my list but they were still there.

In the very beginning, I think I emailed 3 groups and once I heard from Urania I immediately stopped all pursuit of the other groups that I had contacted, when I did get an email back from one of the others, with a kind, but firm no, I was very happy that, that happened and that I got a response!.

During my "second" foray, I contacted 3 groups, 1, “my home” group (after some very long, hard talks with myself), 1 group that is STILL a dream org for me and another group. I called one of the groups to get some questions answered, when I didn't hear from them, I took that as a que that they were not meant for me. Then I was torn between the “home” group and the dream group (who seemed very receptive to my pursuit), again with some tears and very brutal honest talks with myself, I decided that I would only pursue my “home”, because I was in denial about where my heart belonged. I stopped with them immediately! and it was again the correct decision (man, sometimes fate has you go on a long and twisting road).

I still have doubts (I have to, until I get that formal invitation, nothing is for sure) but I know that they are my home.....