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Hi Tom:
I'm so sorry to hear about your father. I lost my father more than 12 years ago to lung cancer. It was a long and very painful death... so when he passed away, we were relieved he was finally out of pain.
Since we had been expecting his death for so long, and had been nursing him at home... we were so busy trying to keep him comfortable and out of pain, and tending to his basic needs, that none of this really sunk in... until six months after his death.
Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I would never see my dad again. I was at the stage you are at right now. It is very, very difficult. You are feeling very sad, in disbelief, feeling helpless, and maybe even angry.
But, Tom... as hard as it is to believe, your hurt and sorrow will slowly be replaced by warm and loving memories of him. You probably don't believe me now, but you will see.
After you go through this very deep and difficult mourning period, you will then realize that you have your dad with you everyday. He is in your heart... and as long as you remember him, he lives on inside of you! Instead of crying whenever you think of him, you'll smile-- when you remember special moments.
Take as long as you need to grieve, because for each person, it's different. What you're feeling is normal--but don't worry, it gets better. It really does.
<sending you a big, warm cyberhug!>
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