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I'd tell her she embarrassed you and compromised your integrity by her not following up after you'd recommended her. It's not so much as if she'd interviewed, gotten an offer and declined-- that's not a reflection of you. But as being recommended, it reflected back on you and you don't appreciate it. Remind her that your industry runs in the same circles and that you will remember her name should anyone ask your opinion about her for future positions within or outside your company.
The rules of business:
1) Don't burn your bridges (she clearly has!)
2) Choose your battles carefully
3) Listen to understand
4) Be nice and have fun!
communicate your irritation. It will help her in the future.
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