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I am not sure but it may vary from group to group as to who is considered a legacy. For example, it may be if your grandmother/mother-stepmother/sister is an initiated member. It may "stretch" to aunts and cousins but I'm not sure. A PNM is not considered a legacy if the relative is a "'New Member/Pledge", at least in AGD.
I know that my chapter definitely gives the legacy matter special consideration, but as mentioned before, the chapter has the right to offer/not offer a bid based upon how the PNM would fit into the current group.
If I was your mom, I would have made a formal complaint to the Chapter (and higher) about the "legacies don't count anymore" comment. It would be interesting to look into the future and see how the rusher's daughter was treated..hopefully, more tactfully!! Maybe it was just her view and not the entire Chapter's.
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