[sageofages]

Originally posted by crzychx
When I first started dating my boyfriend I thought we'd never be close enough to live together. We were always off/on & hot/cold that I never even considered it. We used to work together & we would always fight, both at work & outside of work.

Now that we no longer work together we only see each other in the evenings & on weekends. Since I have 2 other roommates we usually stay at his house & lately he cleared out a drawer for some of my things. This past weekend I had planned to go looking for an apartment since I have to move out of my current apartment in August. Saturday morning, as I was getting ready, Trevor asked me to move in with him. At first I was shocked & immediately laughed it off but as the day went on he kept explaining to me what the bills would be if I moved in, how much I would save, where I could put all of my excess stuff, etc. And as sweet as I think it is that he asked me to move in I still declined his offer everytime & put a deposit down on an apartment. I think I've really hurt his feelings by not moving in with him but I miss my things, my bed, my TV, my computer, my couches, my personal space! etc.

Ever since Saturday he has been different with me, not necessarily distant, but he has had a shorter temper & not as talkative. He won't talk about my new apartment or even about helping me move (although I know he will.) I guess I'm just looking for some advice on what I should do to bridge that new gap he has formed so we can be closer again.

Think about it this way...moving in together is A COMMITTMENT. It isn't just "being roommates"...I know it sounds cliche but it is "trial marriage". This guy put it out there in the open and said "you are important enough to me to share the bathroom with, you can have part of my precious closet space, I will even let you use the same address". While not quite a "will you marry me?" it is pretty darned close...

How would he have reacted IF he had said "will you marry me?" and you said "not yet"...probably the same...hurt, bewildered, wondering if you feel toward him the way he feels toward you.

I think taking this out carefully is in order...