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justamom,
You are not going to like what I am going to tell you, so sit down.
A little background first. I am now an Alumni rep. for my Fraternity Chapter. My Chapter hazes. It has alcohol present at most functions, except where hazing takes place. It is incredibly strict and just as selective. It includes the parents of our pledges, mostly the fathers, to some degree. It is no secret on campus that our pledge program is the hardest, and we do nothing to refute it. We usually only accept 40-50% of those requesting a bid to pledge.
"BTW-We are talking high GPA's, honors/clubs sports and real cuties!(inside and out)"
That is all we accept (not sure about the 'cuties' part, but you get the drift).
My point here is that the Fraternity that they pledge may or probably will not be the 'candy stripers' that you think that they will seek out. You also may be surprised at who comes home for Christmas. We have many letters of accolade from parents that are stunned by the demeanor, confidence, attitude, respect, pride and honor that their son has when he returns home, a Brother. I believe that our program is rare, but not so rare that it does not exist at many campuses around the country.
So, my point is two fold. First, don't steer him to hard into the "WE DO NOT HAZE" Fraternity that he does not fit into and feel comfortable with. My experience has been that the ones that preach the loudest about "NO HAZING" are usually the worst physical violators. Second, don't discount the best run Chapters on campus because their reputation is one of a difficult or very selective pledge period or simply because they have a reputation of hazing. As I said before, this is how my Chapter is run. I do suggest that they seek out the Chapters with Alumni involvement. The pledge period is similar to a Marine boot camp. There is NEVER any physical danger. There is never alcohol present during hazing. The mind games are intense and include every uncomfortable situation that you could imagine, and probaly more. The physical activity is high, mostly consisting of sports.
When they reach the end and become Brothers they will feel as though they have climbed Everest, swam the oceans, and soared with the eagles. No challenge will be too great.
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