[valkyrie]

First, I wouldn't call it a war, but you raise some interesting questions and observations.

Anyway, I'm sure anyone who knows me knows that I'm pretty much the opposite of traditional, and personally, I have no use for traditional feminine culture, at least as I define it.

I'm not sure that I agree that men are conditioned to relate to women who only act in certain ways -- I'm sure some are, but I don't know any of them, at least not well. I'm interpreting what you said as implying that certain men are conditioned to relate only to women who act according to "traditional" feminine ideals -- is that what you meant? I suppose that since I am not at all traditional, I have no use for men like that. Being as I am, I've certainly never had trouble finding men who relate to me for who I am, no matter how off in left field some people may think that is.

I have absolutely no use for engagement rings, weddings, dividing household chores according to traditional gender roles, changing my last name, having children (which I don't think relates to my views on being a woman -- I just don't have the desire, and I think that's a separate issue entirely), and I don't think being with a man has anything to do with who I am as a person. It's easy for me to say since I haven't spent any major time not being in a relationship for over 10 years, but I'm pretty sure I would be perfectly happy and content to be single and living alone with my 900 cats if I didn't have a man who rocked my world.

If all women thought marriage was a dated concept (which I don't believe has a chance in hell of ever happening) I don't see how that would make a huge difference in terms of raising children. All women will never put career over reproduction. It's just not going to happen.

I've never felt any pressure from anyone to be anything other than what I am, and if I did I'd put the verbal smackdown on someone for trying to pressure me to do anything. I don't feel any pressure to be married or to have kids, and I'm still torn as to whether I'm interested in being married or not although I know for sure I never want children. Anyone who pressures any woman to do something is pretty lame -- each woman should be free to live her life according to what is important to her and what she wants, and everyone else needs to respect that or STFU. I may not understand the desire to get married, have babies and wash your husband's underwear, but if that's what makes you happy then that's what you should do.

The only thing that really bothers me is when women settle for guys who aren't what they really want, but being in a relationship is so important to them they do it, or they're so terrified of being alone they'd rather be with someone lame or someone who bores them or whatever, or they want to have teh babiez so they settle for some ass as sperm donor/daddy figure. Of course half of these women don't realize what they're doing, but it's painfully obvious to others. I think women should have enough respect for themselves to not settle for anything other than the best.