[BBelleADPi]

I can answer this question from experience on several levels:

1. I was a legacy, and experienced many of the pressures previously discussed, and from all sides. From my family, though they wanted me to do what was best for me, I still KNEW what they would LIKE to be the ultimate outcome, thus making me, the rushee, suffer from the proverbial "if a tree falls in the forest and there's no one there to hear it," scenario. From other sororities who knew I was a legacy, both from word of mouth, and because it was listed on the forms. And at that time, it was the way it was done. When my daughter was considering attending my alma mater, with several sororities, I was already questioning whether she should put on the rush forms that she was a legacy. Would it help her? Hurt her?

2. As a parent, we have experienced our oldest son attending a university that did have his father's fraternity, Kappa Sigma, but who chose not to be a part of the Greek system.

3. As a parent, our oldest daughter has chosen to attend a university that does not have my sorority, Alpha Delta Pi, and has not yet decided on whether to go through rush. So, I am already feeling a sadness that she will most likely not experience ADPi with me. (Unless she doesn't pledge a sorority as a freshman and transfers to another school with an ADPi chapter and gets a bid. Possible, but not likely.) However, I do VERY much hope that she will end up being Greek with one of the other sororities there, and that we can have the common experiences of sisterhood, candlelights, rush songs, rush skits, big and littles, etc.

And, as Carnation stated earlier in this thread, I didn't really think much about all of this until we began to approach the college years, and, like her, I was surprised at the intensity of my feelings. While it is obviously not the end of the world, as our children are bright and have made important life choices, there is a finality and sadness that they will not capture the part of college life that we so treasure. We do have a nine year old daughter that has seen how much it means to me and assures me that when she is in college "she'll be a part of my club!" Booya!