Quote:
Originally posted by OtterXO
I'm not a huge fan of airing specific personal info on here, but I'm having a bit of a problem that I could use some experienced input on. I'm having a difficult time trusting the current bf because of a bad situation that happened with an ex. First let me say that the new bf is absolutely wonderful, treats me great and he given me absolutely no reason not to trust him. Also, the ex is totally not in the picture, he cheated and treated me like shit-we broke up about 3 years ago.
However, for some reason I'm apparently not over how he treated me because I'm totally scared of the situation happening again with the current/new bf. (I feel like such a spaz for saying this) A good friend of mine was in a similar situation and she recommended that I not tell the new bf this situation and just deal with it on my own since it's clearly my issues and not his. I'm not sure how I feel about that.
Has anyone else had to deal with this? Did you explain your situation to the new person so they'd understand or just deal with your crap on your own? Any wise advice would be appreciated.
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Let me give you my thoughts on this....
Ive been in the same situation, on both ends. I was both the guy who made girls the way you are and Ive been the guy thinking Ive got to know wtf is going on behind the scenes because of all the crapp I did.....I know how scandalous people can be and even moreso women.
First, don't tell the BF. He'll use it for his advantage later if problems arise and just tell you you're crazy for thinking that way and the reason being is because of the bad relationship. That and most relationships dont last that go that route.
Secondly, you need to come to the realization that just about ALL guys CHEAT! It happens eventually if not in the begining. Thats just something women need to come to accept. Only 13% of ALL men out there remain faithfull. You're new BF is no different from joe blow off the street. If he's not being taken care of he'll go to someone who will take care of him but usually without leaving you. Sex to men is exactly that, just sex. It doesnt mean we love you any less if we fuck another girl on the side from time to time. My advice, keep things spicey and feak nasty in the bedroom. Don't leave him any room to cheat/give him the option. If you're freaky he wont want some little slut on the side. But the moment things get stagnant the thought of other ass will seem more and more interesting until he cant take it anymore and actually does cheat. Most women out there don't even know when their guy is cheating. In fact, when we arent running around women usually think something is up as opposed to when we actually are. My problems start up when I'm actually not out getting other ass and actually are being a faithfull BF, the girls usually think something is wrong. I start getting more and more attached. Its wierd.
If you're really that worried about it, spy on him. Check his email or cell phone/records. Another good way to check him out is setting him up by getting one of your really hot friends he doesnt know to hit on him one night when you're not with him and see what happens.
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ETA: Remember guy rule #10, the key to cheating succesfully is to not act out of the ordinary. Guys, if you're cheating don't hit it any less than normal and never admit to any wrong doing in the past or present. Always claim to be faithfull and act like you despise guys who cheat. And guy rule #11 is, don't get caught!!!
Cashmotherfuckingmoney