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She should have told you that she wasn't able to ask you. Its just nice to hear from her about the wedding party and not someone else. The girls comments make it seem like it was a big issue/secret that you were not going to be in the wedding.
I am also in the same situation. A great friend from high school is getting married in June. We kept in touch until three years ago. She kept up with one friend and another she talked to maybe three times in the last three years. Both those girls are bridesmaids and I am not even invited (there was not a fight). At least it saves me from buying a present.
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