Quote:
Originally posted by KSigkid
On the sidenote: It's not just the bridal party - there are people who "expect" to be invited to the wedding, and then end up being truly upset when they're not. Unfortunately, there are those who think money is no object and that every person you've been friends with can be invited to the wedding; it's just not the case. Not everyone can be in the bridal party, and not everyone can be invited to the wedding. On one hand, it's nice that so many people care about the wedding; on the other, though, it causes conflict.
As for your situation Sandy - that just seems like an awful way of handling things on the bride's part. If she had no intention of having you as part of the bridal party, she should have relayed that to you when you were giving her all that help. Common sense should have told her that if someone is doing that much work, and they're not going to be a bridesmaid, she should have told that to you right away. Also, to have another bridesmaid deliver the message is weak, at best. You're upset and have a right to be upset.
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Keep both of these things in mind - C is def your GC soulmate, and he definitely knows how awkward some of these situations can be. You're mature enough to see both sides, and I'm sure you can understand both aspects.
I'm going to disagree with the majority, though - this is not at all similar to Collin's first point, which is a totally understandable allocation of resources. You put in the legwork, and you were effectively cut out of the loop.
If I'm you, I would make a very conscious decision as to whether or not I really have a desire to attend. Bringing a "hot date" is a short-term victory, and is nearly worse than the garbage 'boycott!' arguments. If you're only going to show someone up. you'd be better off in LA with some friends and some beaujoulais.
Sending a gift is requisite - she's still your girl. However, at no point can I honestly promote putting yourself in a position that only involves some sort of "FUCK YOU" mentality. Take a zen moment, and decide whether or not you'll actually enjoy yourself. If you will not - use those frequent flier miles and do you.
You're not being the bigger person if your sole purpose in attending is to show up everyone else.
RCOUT