[FSUZeta]

gosh, i am speechless! it is unbelievable that someone would let you do all her local running around, checking out potential wedding and reception sites and all the other stuff you did, and then not even give you the courtesy of a phone call to let you know who was going to be in the wedding party. as we say in the south, "dahlin', that is just too tacky for words!"

i had a similar surprise when i was in college. one of my best friends from hs was graduating early from a nearby university and was getting married. she invited 2 of her college roommates to be in the wedding(fine with that) and also a girl from our hs a year younger than us. this girl had never been as close a friend as several others of us had been with the bride to be. just like you, i was insulted that the bride did not choose a friend that she had been closer to than bridesmaid #3, & that she did not tell any of us who she had asked. i chose to not attend the wedding because there was a sorority function that same day. i did let the bride know that due to sorority obligations i would not be able to attend. i never regretted my decision. in a twist of irony, her marriage lasted about 4 years.

i think your feelings are valid. you should decide if you can go to the wedding and feel comfortable under the circumstances. i would not care whether "tongues will wag" if you are not in attendance. it was pretty rotten that she let you do all that research for her and never even gave you a phone call to let you know who her choices were. not attending the wedding is not about being a brat-its about doing what is right for you.i vote for california. take care of yourself!!lisa