Quote:
Originally posted by NUPE4LIFE:
Well you're gonna get a response from me. First of all you messed up when you out right stated that your boyfriend was pledging APHIA. What kind of girlfriend are you to post your boyfriend's business on the web? I'm sure your boyfriend has told you how discreet he has to be in his pursuit for membership. Second, this is his process not yours. It's not your business what goes in his process. You should never ask questions, just be there for him. As a fellow greek, there are things that we don't and can't share even with our relatives and significant others. Let me ask you a question. Do you really love and care about him? If the answers is yes, just be there for him. Don't ask questions. This is a journey that he's decided to embark on. One filled with both ups and downs. This was a very important decision that he made. Are you a member of even a non-greek organization on your campus? It might help if you also get involved in something. Pledging isn't forever. Just bear with him, and things will work out. Again I must repeat, NEVER QUESTION JUST BE THERE FOR HIM.
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In an attempt to be as not-negative as possible....I understand your (nupe4life) attempt to instill in this girl that she has to understand that there are things she simply can not know. But given that she is already apprehensive about the process, your response was a bit more intense than was necessary. She's a concerned girlfriend. She's not greek and she doesn't understand the process. She just wants to know if it will threaten her relationship. Jumping on her and telling her 6 times in one message to not ask questions is only going to make her paranoia worse.
I don't think it's an issue of the maturity level of her and/or her boyfriend. I think that some people, girls or guys, make the frat their life and have no time for a significant other. This isn't about maturity, it's about priorities, and priorities change, especially in University. That's not to say that in this sitatuation that will happen. You're just gonig to have to play it by ear. It sucks, but it's just the way things have to be.
But Greeks, refrain from lecturing this girl like she did something bad. Don't call her a bad girlfriend. Who are you to say that? She has fears, and given what I've seen happen to people in relationships after one went Greek, her fears aren't totally unfounded. She didn't post anything about his life. She said what frat he's in. I've said what soror my friends are in in posts, that doesn't make me a bad friend. Give constructive advice or don't respond because you're not doing anyone any good by jumping on a non-greek for saying things they were unaware were taboo (in your opinion) to discuss.
Leslie