My pledge sister wants to depledge but I really want her to stick it out.
 

It's the third week now and one of my pledge sisters (4 in total including me) is talking about giving her pin in and depledging. I try to talk to her and say that it may be hard now and that its only going to get tougher as time progresses but its only a limited amount of time and the grass will be much greener on the other side. but its gotten to the point that i dont know anything else to say to her. A little background info is that I met her at rush and liked her almost immediately and i thought to my self "wow I hope we both get bids to this house" I told her that even if she does decide to depledge that I still want to be friends with her. I just wish there was something that i could say that would make her not depledge and not be so stressed out.

Do you know why she is wanting to depledge? Is it financial? Does she not feel comfortable around the other sisters? Something else? I ask because it would be easier for me personally to tell you what you might be able to tell her to think about before making that final decision.

Good luck and I hope she makes the right decision for her!

What kind of "tough" are we talking here? Because if it's a question of a large time commitment being the issue for her then I have to say that it really doesn't get too much easier. Sororities take a lot of time and if she can't cope with it now then it's only going to become more difficult as she progresses in school and her workload increases. I think it would be better for her to decide sooner rather than later, as opposed to getting initiated and then become even more swamped.
I know it's tough because you really like her but ultimately she has to make the best decision for herself and that may mean not being in a sorority -that does not mean that the two of you cannot still be friends, make sure she knows that!

its mostly that she is having a hard time taking the crap that we as pledges get. Weve been told on the side by some sisters that its all just an act and that its more important to listen to what is being said rather then how. I try to tell myself that so many girls before me had to deal with the same stuff and it keeps me going. I realize that everything has a purpose to get us more united and learn about the history of the chapter. I think one issue is that she feels the need to be perfect. She is also worried about how her grade might be getting affected. We all know that the main purpose of college is to get a degree and that is ranked above pledging. I tell her that its ok if she needs to go do something for school and miss an event but she feels guilty that she is letting us down. I think shes trying to put way more of her self into pledging then she can.

yea, i see your point. I hope she makes the right decision for herself too.

greekintraining, your a new member of a NPC organization. No NPC agrees with their New Members taking "crap" just because they're NMs. Talk to an advisor. If this is the kind of "tough" your pledge sister is talking about, I don't blame her for wanting to quit.

Maybe instead of trying to make your pledge sister change her mind you should be working on changing the attitude of the actives. It's like telling a girl in an abusive relationship that she shouldn't do things to make her boyfriend mad and get used to being abused instead of telling her that it's her boyfriend that needs to get help and change.

100% agree. Greekintraining, you are being hazed.

Just wanted to second that notion, you are being hazed. You should not be being treated like crap by anyone. I don't blame her for wanting out. Like stated above, contact an advisor or someone else outside of the chapter.

Let's make this a third! I don't understand why new members put up with crap. I think even when I was 18/19 (which was some time ago), I would have told them to kiss my a**. Serioulsy....join our sisterhood, it's great, you make great friends, but let us be mean, spiteful b****es to you for a while first to prove that we love you so much. who's world that does make sense in?

are you a member of an npc, nphc or local sorority?

She says here that she's a member of an NPC.

I don't know. Something about her posts wants me to call BS on everything she's written.

Oooh, I remember that post! It seemed strange then, and this just sounds like someone looking for attention. I call bulls**t.

Can we start a pool? I'm NPHC, so most of what I know about NPC came from GC but I say she was cut, and the concoctions started on everyone else's bid day.

I had that thought, too. She's using "pledge" and "pledgeship" much more than any recent member of an NPC sorority I've heard in a long time.