Are guys told to be nicer?
 

They say that frat guys are so horrible, but sometimes it really seems like they are actually nicer than most guys in general. Just friendly and helpful. And these are like the standard SigEps, Phi Theta Delta, not the academic fraternities (not like anything's wrong with the academic ones, but i'm just trying to be clear). So yeah, is nice-ness something they look for in recruitment, or do they tell them to be aware of how they act or something? Just curious.

Mrs. Bambii2010, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Apparently fraternity men are NOT instructed to be nicer or more helpful. :p

And apparently, you've watched Billy Madison one time too many.

Stop looking at me, swan.

This made my day thank you!

I love that line. I have reason to say it often...but I refrain.

I replay that line constantly in my head - then again, I teach high school. I'm used to hearing moronic comments that fit "I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."

While I salute EW's comment in the name of resenting silly stereotypes, I will say that at good fraternity chapters being respectful of ladies in social settings is expected. Rushees are not instructed in being socially respectable or asked to be nice- if they don't come into rush with that mentality then they have nothing to offer a chapter.

Of all the things a rushee can do to kill a chance of getting a bid, pissing off a female guest at a rush party is number one. And this is why it is vitally important for rush to include social events with ladies. This is the critical test to determine if a rushee is an acceptable candidate.

Incidentally, in my experience this is one reason lousy chapters have a hard time getting ladies to attend their parties. Not knowing how to be respectful to women seems to go hand in hand with so many other issues.

It's who we look for in rush, and being disrespectful to women is one of the things that can get you cut during pledgeship, no questions asked, if the chapter sees fit.

So no, we aren't making our fraternity guys be nicer than the average males, we're just only taking the ones who are.

I can relate. But it is not good to make the youth cry.

The first fraternity guy I dated was a TKE. (A different chapter from my husband's.) He told me that they were given ettiquette classes on how to be with women. This included walking in front of a woman when going down stairs and in back when going up and keeping her on the inside when walking down a road. He went through in the mid 80s.

Ha! My husband quotes Billy Madison all the time!

On my campus I've noticed that different fraternities act differently towards women as a whole. I think that is mostly because not only do the fraternities who value treating women well recruitment men that do the same, but also once a men is a member of that fraternity they are led by example and begin to take on those same qualities. There is one fraternity on my campus that is awesome and if a girl is at their house she will hear a number of time "do you need anything?" or "can i do anything for you?" or if a member overhears a woman say something about being thirsty or cold will just automatically do what is needed. Another group is nice to the women they know and are accomindating, but I don't think would go above and beyond or anything. The other few groups either horrible to women, completly clueless about how to act around women or treat us like we're one of the guys. At least it's nice to know what I can expect when I'm with the different groups.