How did you know?
 

Hey guys, I am in the middle of rush right now. I have already been to ice water teas, philanthropy, and skit night and I am going to prefs later this week. I am TORN between 3 different sororities. I am of course unsure which ones I will be invited back to on pref (I can attend up to 3), and my opinions may very well change after that night. I am sure this happened to many of you when you went through recruitment, so I was wondering how did you know which one to rank first? I feel like I could fit in to all 3 and it is hard to tell if any one likes me more than the others.

What makes it a little more complicated is that I am an upperclassman, and at my school sororities can pledge as many upperclassmen as they want without it contributing to the freshman quota. Since I will appear somewhere on the bid list of every house I pref, and since ups. are seperated but there is no set quota, from what I understand it is almost certain I will get a bid from whichever house I rank first.

Of course, I am aware that it isn't 100%. Anyway this sadly takes a lot of the randomness of bid day away and puts a lot more pressure on me to be certain of which house I want to put first.

How did you know?

When you go back to pref, take a look at the girls and ask yourself,
"Would they sit up with me all night when I'm crying over the guy that just broke my heart"?
"Would they care if I didn't have make up on"?
"Would they help me get to the clinic if I were sick"?
"Would they be there for me if a crisis struck my family"?

As corny as this sounds, there will be a moment during pref or when you go to sign your bid card when you will just KNOW. Go with your gut.

That is a tough question.... sometimes it is a feeling, sometimes it is fate. Look around the room, when all the pomp and parties are over, who could you see sitting around in your sweats with? Who are the women that might be in your new member class? Where is it you feel most like yourself? Where do you feel that you can contribute the most?

Here is what I do-- make a list of all of the things you love about each house ( a bullet point list works well) then , what are you priorities ( I make a check list) then compare the two-- usually one comes out on top! The GREAT news is that you like all three so no matter where you end up you will be happy-- what a great feeling :D congratulations!

Be sure you go where there is a group of women who will have your back while you have theirs.

Picture yourself one and five years downstream with each sorority. Which is most likely to help you become the best you?

and of course, the corollary to that -

If ABC comes out on top with the things on your list, and you still want to be in XYZ ANYWAY, then XYZ is where you're meant to be.

THIS!

When I was going through rush and it came to pref night and then signing my bid, i just knew that my house for me!
I could see myself staying up all night talking with those girls (which i have)
crying in their arms about a guy being stupid (which i have)
having countless hours of laughing and being silly (which i have)

it's kind of a gut instinct

Here's a little tidbit of wisdom from someone who thought she knew EXACTLY which house she wanted. Then I ended up getting my 2nd choice. At the Bid Card opening I was truly disappointed (though not crushed). But it didn't take me long to realize that God (or whatever higher power you believe in) knew what was best for me. It's over 20 years later and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt I ended up where I was meant to be.

I was so torn so I flipped a coin...when HEADS (XYZ) came up my heart dropped and therefore I knew to go with TAILS (Alpha Phi). I really suggest doing that...it's so simple yet reveals gut instinct very well.

During preferance, the girl who was preffing me did/said something funny - something that I would do. I liked that she was honest with a little bit of humor. She wasn't putting on airs to be something she wasn't. She was comfortable with me and comfortable with her sisters. In an instant this is what I wanted too.

When you're waiting to go into the houses for the pref round, look around at the other girls who are there, too. Those are the girls in your pledge class! Can you see yourself becoming close friends with them? Are there other upperclassmen?

It's definitely a gut decision. When it comes time, you'll have a pretty good idea. And if you don't, it's perfectly ok to pace around and talk to some recruitment counselors. :)

I also think that it is a good idea to take a good look around at the PNMs who are returning to parties with you. While not all are destined to join those chapters, it's a pretty good indicator of the kind of girls you'll be spending a lot of time with (in addition to the existing chapter members). Not gelling with one or two isn't a deal breaker, but you should get an idea for who you'll be calling "Sister" for the next few years!

In my case, I came in really liking one sorority (ABC). I had a couple of friends there and just really loved the women I was meeting at each recruitment event. Surprisingly, there was another sorority that caught my attention (XYZ). I found myself really liking them and preffed them, too. After prefs, I was in a bit of a quandry. I talked to some other PNMs, made a list and thought about how much fun it would be to see XYZ on my bid card. Then I realized how sad I would be to not be an ABC. I ranked ABC (ADPi!) first.... and I got my first choice!

Enjoy the rest of your recruitment and best of luck!

I would just like to say, if you are at a school with smaller chapters (70 or under), the looking around to see who else will be in your pledge class really isn't that important as you most likely will get to know and work with ALL the girls in the sorority, not just those in your pledge class. The reason I say this is because if I had based my decision on the other rushees at pref with me, I might not have joined the chapter I did. I know this isn't SophieCat's situation but I wanted to throw it out there for the other rushees who might be reading this.

SC - I would definitely look around or on websites and see how many of the juniors and seniors are still active. The last thing you want is to join a chapter where the majority of people deactivate once they hit senior year.