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DMBabyZTA 08-29-2008 11:00 PM

just out of curiosity...
 
what are your opinions on girls dating younger guys? It seems as though the trend of dating younger men or even shorter men (Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise) is more socially acceptable now-a-days. Is this looked down upon as much or do you think it has become a thing of the past?

Also, we should separate the age gaps - personally, I think 1-5 years is nothing to fret over. However 15-20??? I mean really?

start posting!!

epchick 08-29-2008 11:04 PM

My best friend & her older sister both are dating younger guys. But they are both in the 1-3 year range. I don't think much about it.

What I found extremely wierd was my brother dating someone younger than me. At the time I was probably around 21, and he was dating an 18 year old. I was like :confused:. It kinda grossed me out, especially since my brother is MUCH older than I am.

I personally like either someone my age or older...but I wouldn't turn down a younger guy (within a 1-2 year age range) if I was attracted to him.

LttleMsPrEp 08-29-2008 11:09 PM

My theory is that the guy and I had to have been in school at the time hypothetically, for example if he's a freshman and I'm a senior it's totally acceptable. 1-5 years is a good gap I think.. 15 to 20 years is just disgusting IMHO.. since I'm still a student if I date a guy 15 years older than me my first thought is "when you were in your sophmore year of high school I was just being born"

I'm open to dating younger guys but it would have to be no more than 1 year younger.

epchick 08-29-2008 11:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LttleMsPrEp (Post 1708385)
My theory is that the guy and I had to have been in school at the time hypothetically, for example if he's a freshman and I'm a senior it's totally acceptable.

Haha, I remember when I was in high school, it was totally gross if a senior girl was dating a freshman guy. Our senior year, my friend went to homecoming with a freshman. We called her a cradle robber, and kept saying "but he's a freshman." Now that i'm out of HS, it seems so wierd. I mean we only had a 3 year age difference, but back in HS it seemed like a bigger age difference.

preciousjeni 08-29-2008 11:19 PM

My husband is 19ish years older than I am. He was halfway through his sophomore year of college when I was born. When I think of it that way, it skeeves me out. I was WELL over legal age when we met, so it's no thing.

We both had an issue with it when we were first considering courtship, but it was not enough to keep us apart. We joke that I'm a golddigger and just wanted an older man for his riches. Problem was, I had the money - not him. :p

LttleMsPrEp 08-29-2008 11:20 PM

def that little rule applies mostly in college for me.. in high school the lowest i went senior year was a junior and i got major crap for that lol

ZTAMich 08-29-2008 11:31 PM

I can see how you may fret about age differences in high school & college. In the real world I don't think it matters much. There are bigger things to worry about. If you get along, great. Age shouldn't be the deciding factor if you should be together or not.

preciousjeni - we can start a club! My husband is 14yrs older than me. :)

ZTAMich 08-29-2008 11:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LttleMsPrEp (Post 1708385)

I'm open to dating younger guys but it would have to be no more than 1 year younger.


ummmm you realize this really ISN'T being open to dating younger guys don't you? I mean how much of an age difference is a year?

DMBabyZTA 08-29-2008 11:39 PM

I date a guy who is 3 almost 4 years younger than me. But I wouldn't trade him or our relationship for anything. He treats me and understands me better than anyone else I have ever dated. We have a ton in common too. The issue is his mom. She can't get over the fact that a 22 year old is dating her 19 year old baby boy. Here's the kicker though- She's 5 years older than her husband! She is rude to me and pretty much tells my boyfriend and me right to our faces that "she was my age once... and she's not going to buy me a diamond ring.. she thinks my intentions are wrong.. blah blah blah" When in fact, no one has said anything about marriage and he knows my/our true intentions.

Any advice? It would much appreciated!

LttleMsPrEp 08-29-2008 11:40 PM

good point.. I guess since I have yet to meet a guy worth dating that was more than a year younger than me I'm still a bit wary of going any younger.. but who knows if the guy is great exceptions can be made

ZTAMich 08-29-2008 11:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DMBabyZTA (Post 1708410)
I date a guy who is 3 almost 4 years younger than me. But I wouldn't trade him or our relationship for anything. He treats me and understands me better than anyone else I have ever dated. We have a ton in common too. The issue is his mom. She can't get over the fact that a 22 year old is dating her 19 year old baby boy. Here's the kicker though- She's 5 years older than her husband! She is rude to me and pretty much tells my boyfriend and me right to our faces that "she was my age once... and she's not going to buy me a diamond ring.. she thinks my intentions are wrong.. blah blah blah" When in fact, no one has said anything about marriage and he knows my/our true intentions.

Any advice? It would much appreciated!


My advice? Relax and enjoy dating. His mom's issues are part of her 'letting go' process. Sooner than later he needs to have a discussion with his mom that she needs to BUTT OUT of HIS LIFE. Tho I'm guessing at 19 it probably won't happen as soon as you'd like. Boys generally take a little longer to 'grow up'. Hence the term "Momma's Boy". If your relationship grows & moves on to serious commitment and she's still treating the both of you like this, then you would probably want to nudge him to talk to her, but if you aren't there yet I would NOT suggest doing that.

amycat412 08-29-2008 11:58 PM

honestly, i think the older you get, the less of a big deal age differences are. I dated guys my age or 1-3 yrs older in my 20s and early 30s. Now, I am someone that gets along better w younger guys than older guys, so... last BF was 26 to my then 37. We're still friends.

SOPi_Jawbreaker 08-30-2008 12:31 AM

Right now, I think the youngest I would date would be a guy four years younger than me, because I want a guy that has finished college and has had at least one year's experience of working and living on his own. I sometimes joke with my friends that when I'm in my 40's, I'm going to be a cougar and I'm going to be driving a flashy convertible and cruising college campuses on the weekends. However, in all seriousness, I can't see myself ever dating anyone more than 1-5 years younger than me.

I would possibly be open to dating someone 15-20 years older than me. However, I would probably be more cautious and wary than with dating someone closer to my age. There's a lot of things I'd have to mull over before I would be involved with someone significantly older than me. If he's divorced, why did his marriage fail? Was it her? Was it just incompatibility? Or is there something wrong with him? If he's never been married, why not? Is he commitment-phobic? Does he refuse to grow up? Does he always date younger women? Why doesn't he date women his own age? Why won't women his own age date him? If I ask myself all these things and nothing raises a red flag to me, then I would date him.

EE-BO 08-30-2008 12:45 AM

When I was a senior in high school, I dated a woman a few years older than my mother for a few months. No- it was not going to be a permanent thing, but we had a good time and we fulfilled immediate needs we each had. And we remain great friends today.

I have zero issue with age differences. With age and maturity I have come to realize it is much easier to have a solid long-term foundation with someone similar to your own age, but not every relationship is destined to fulfill lifetime goals. And sometimes maybe a big age difference is not a hinderance to a long term relationship. It all depends on what the participating parties want and need- and I have no interest in passing judgement on that.

DMBabyZTA 08-30-2008 12:48 AM

Okay so for the guys: what about an older girl makes her attractive or you attracted to her? I'm really curious about this one. BE HONEST :p


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