Insomnia problem
 

My boyfriend is perfect in every way. He is kind, sweet, smart, and loyal, not to mention cute. However, he has a terrible insomnia problem. Many nights he is unable to sleep until most people are already awake. He has work at 9 AM and gets an average of 3 hours of sleep on nights before he goes to work. He is grumpy and irritable the rest of the day and takes 2 hour naps at around 7 or 8 pm. On days he doesn't work, he is determined to pick me up to hang out around mid-morning/early afternoon. I call him when he wants to wake up, but he never wakes up until HOURS after that time. I don't drive, so often I have to depend on him to drive me around. However, if he is taking me somewhere I am ALWAYS at least 15 minutes late. I hate complaining about this to him because he does so much for me. But he AGREED to drive me to work 3 days a week (we are co-workers and work the same shift). I literally have no other choice. I am not really sure what to do... Do I have the right to complain about this? I have tried everything I can think of. Does anyone know a cure for insomnia?

Insomnia can be a serious sleep disorder. However with work with his licensed provider, issues can be worked out.

Now it seems you have two problems: Your boyfriend's insomnia and your inability to drive where you need to go or rather your reliance on him for your transportation.

Based on what you described, there is very little you can do for his insomnia but to take care of yourself. Are you getting the sleep you need? Generally it is 8 hours and most of the time it is at night. That is the way humans work and any changes to that process depending on your body, can wreck havoc as you get older. That is why folks with sleep problems should talk to their licensed provider.

The second issue is how come you are relying on someone else for your transportation to your job? Are there monetary reasons? Can you use public transportation? Just asking?

You definitely need to learn to drive ASAP and/or get with public transportation.

Feeling that he's letting you down as far as getting you to work on time (which I'm sure he is) will only make his insomnia issues WORSE.

You can't cure this for him. He has to do it on his own.

I agree with everyone about the transportation issues.

As someone who gets bouts of insomnia, I recommend eliminating the nap and trying to stay up to around 10 and then going to sleep. Also, I notice that I sleep better if I don't drink caffeine after noon (a real bitch when you are going through an insomnia phase) and I lay off drinking any alcohol. I also keep a book by my bed and read when I wake up for a little while. Sometimes, when I'm lucky, I can go back to sleep. If none of that helps, I'd definitely suggest him going to the doctor.

I also recommend cutting out the nap. I've suffered from sleeping problems since I was little and I finally got prescription sleep pills from my doctor about 2 months ago. They give you terrible nightmares but to me it's worth it to be able to fall asleep instead of laying in bed till 4 AM. If I nap during the day, even if it's for 15 minutes, it's impossible for me to sleep at night. Tell him to eliminate the nap, cut off caffeine after 3pm, and keep busy during the day so you tire yourself out.

I was just going to tell her to have him stay AWAY from prescription sleep aids. I tried three kinds and all three left me dazed and spacy (in a big way) the next day. Which is completely counter productive - if I have something important enough going on tomorrow that I HAVE to sleep, taking sleep aids makes me too groggy to do whatever important thing it was.

When I was having trouble sleeping in college, the Student Health doc suggested I try Benadryl. The diphenhydramine in it makes most people drowsy (it's the same ingredient as in most over the counter sleep aids.) The doc said she could give me a prescription, but in her experience the Benadryl worked better and was much cheaper.

Of course, if the boyfriend has a serious, serious sleep problem, I'm sure Benadryl won't touch it. How long has he been like this? His whole life or is this a new development?