Be a good big!
 

Okay, this is pretty random, but I just wanted to ask all the girls in sororities to PLEASE be a good big sis to your lil.

As a freshman last year, i was so excited to find out who my big was. Our chapter is large, and I didn't know many older girls, so I looked forward to becoming friends with my big.

However, that did not happen. After the big/lil reveal [in November], I didn't see her again until Initiation [in January]. She never gave me her phone number (I gave her mine) or acted like she wanted to have any kind of contact with me. She didn't even bother to tell me that she was not going to come to our annual big/lil Christmas party, where I sat next to her empty seat all night holding onto her present that I had carefully selected for her.

She never speaks to me, ever. When I see her at chapter, I smile and wave, and she just looks the other way. Most of my sisters are best friends with their bigs; it just makes me kind of sad that I don't have that with mine.

So please, if you're just a mediocre big sis, try to improve. It really makes your lil feel terrible when her big wants nothing to do with her.

Anyone else have a big/lil story?

Maybe you could adopt one? Seems quite common from my understanding.

phimuladee, how sad. i am so sorry that your big isn't into being a big. definately one reason not to force people to be a big if they don't want to be-and that's what this sounds like.

is there some older girl that you do feel close to? close enough that you could talk to her and maybe unofficially adopt her as your big?

no matter what, i imagine that you will be an awesome big this fall when you get a little. maybe you and your future little will have the bond you are missing. good luck!

I have taken 3 littles. I haven't really had a successful relationship with any of them, and don't have any grand-littles.

The first one, I was really close to when I took her, but then she kinda spazzed and I don't really know what happened there, but she isn't really an enjoyable person to hang out with.
The second little I took didn't come to ANYTHING after the big/little ceremony.
My third little quit school after one active semester. She's nice enough, but I feel a little awkward around her. Anytime I ask to do anything with her, she either says "some other time", or says "ok" like she doesn't really mean it.
:-(

I will definitely be an AMAZING big next year :p

And on the flip side, people need to be good littles too. My little did nothing for me for senior week, and at one point another senior started to feel bad for me all alone and helped me out, but it was really sad.

Just wanted to say people in coeds and guys in fraternities need to take heed as well if you have big/little programs.

"Also new girls need to understand that the Big/Little relationship, while important, is not neccessarily the most important relationship you will ever have within the sorority. I think there's a HUGE misconception in sororities that your Big Sis will be your BFF in the chapter and you will be so super close. That's just not true. I love my Big of course and we are very good friends but she is not my closest friend from the sorority (my house room mate is actually). So there are girls you will be closer to who are not your Big Sis, and that's okay. "ksuviolet 06

so true!!

My big and I had a major falling out the end of my sophmore year. We had one huge fight in the middle of our greek courts - over the fact that she didn't like that I had started hanging out with other sisters that she didn't like. She told me to go find a new big and that she was "de-littling me". After that she pretty much just stopped speaking to me and my lil.

My lil and I got really close after that and then my grand-lil joined our fam. All 3 of us got along great. We weren't each others best friends in the sorority, but we were friends and we were allies and we tried to do "family" things together on occassion. 8 years later I still talk to both my lil and my grandlil.

Exactly - sometimes it happens, but sometimes not. My little & I weren't close because her best friend pledged at the same time - she already HAD a best friend in the chapter. My little little and I, on the other hand, are best friends, still.

My original big and I were really close, until she got her next lil sis. Then it was like I didn't exist. There was an older member who stood in for my big because she couldn't make it to initiation. This older member lived near me (commuter campus) so she was pretty much my "big" sis. I made her a paddle with "Pseudo Big Sis" on it. She graduated and we kept in touch once in a while, but not much. I became very close to another sister and considered her my big sis from then on.

My original big sis took on another lil sis. When she left the sorority to help start a new local (not too long after that sister's initiation) I took on the big sistership of the lil. Seven years later we still call each other big sis/lil sis. Sometimes you just gota go with the flow and you don't always have to be close to that person who was given to you.

I think it's nice when big/lil sister combos work out to be great friends, but the purpose of a Big Sis is to give the new member a mentor. In AOII, she also vouches for the new member. If you aren't best of friends, at least, the Big Sis should be available to answer questions and should take an interest in making sure her lil's new member period is successful. If she can't do those things, she has no business being a big sis.

duly noted.

This is my first post :) just found this site, but I had to comment.

My big and I were best friends and were inseperable. Some of my favorite memories of college involve her. We did everything together and it was sort of hard because when someone invited me they had to include her and vice versa. It was great but I was older than her and was the more responsible and reliable one so I was sometimes the big. While active I then took 4 littles but was never as close to them as I was my big. Unfortuantly my big and I had a huge falling out and we don't really talk but I will always cherish our memories and I am happy to have had her in my life because she introduced me to my GLO.

I did have a problem because I not only worked, double majored, participated in nearly every club on campus but I was also on exec and president of my sorority. It was really hard to handle everything and I did not have a lot of time for my littles. I had one little that was jealous that I was president and actually told me so (she dropped) but we are still friends and she regrets her decision I think.

I do wish that I did spend more time with my littles, but in my oppinion being a big sister is to be a good example of what your sorority and a strong woman stands for. I had a tradition that after initiation, I would take my little out and we would reflect on the iniation and go over the meanings and how it affected her. I was always there if they had a problem and I am still always there for them. I can't wait till one day they are my bridesmaids, as I will be theirs.