I'm worried about Rush...
 

Ok, so I'm a freshman who will be rushing next year as a sophomore at a certain California school with a majorly competitive rush.
The thing is, I really had trouble this year. I'm not weird or bad-looking, but my general shyness and living in a socially-isolated dorm kept me from really socializing this year. I realize that this is my own fault, I'm not making excuses. Part of the reason I'm rushing is so that I can turn this situation around and have people to go out with on Thursday nights. But I'm scared that this year will come back to haunt me in rush next year.
Of course, I will put my full efforts into presenting myself well, and my GPA is pretty good. But, if the girls have never heard of me or seen me around, am I basically doomed?
I know it sounds bad, but I don't want to end up with a house that just takes whoever is left. I'm not a snob, and I don't just want the popular ones. Like everybody, I just want to have as many options as possible. So any suggestions or thoughts would really be appreciated. :)

Please explain. (I'm really tired, and all I can think is, "the FLDS dorm?")

It is all about you. It is not where you live or the people you live around. I had lived in the handicap dorm on the handicap floor. I did not request this, but was placed there. No one ever came on my floor. You are in charge of your life and how you want to present yourself. You really do not have any limits. If your grades are just as good as the next young woman, you must find a way to make yourself shine above her. (I am hoping you have been active in some type of org or have done volunteer work etc) Every woman has positives and negatives and you must figure out how to make your positives stand out more than the next person and yet downplay your negatives.

I would also have a more legitimate answer on the tip of your tongue as to why you are rushing. It would not be unheard of to get asked this question during recruitment.

Have you made friends with people in class/study groups? Met people through organizations on campus? Baci is right... ultimately you are in control of your own social life. Do not use the dorm as an excuse. That will just make you look pathetic.

No one on this board will be able to tell you that you'll get asked to join the group you want. Recruitment can be rough. Don't go into it with the attitude that any of the chapters "takes whoever is left." That's not how recruitment works. Look at each chapter and how you get along with the members. Unless you care what complete strangers think about you and your sorority, it doesn't really matter what chapter you join as long as you're happy with it!

Look, I really appreciate the responses. But I think the why of how I didn't meet many sorority girls this year is kind of irrelevant. Of course I have class friends. I don't really know what else to say about it except I regret it and I'm trying to change. I legitimately want to make great friends in a sorority and I have a positive attitude about it. I'm just worried because I want to be seen for who I can be rather than my mistakes.
Angel- You're right. I know people who have the hierarchy of the sororities memorized and choose based on that. I'm not interested in something so superficial, and I hope the sororities are the same way about me. Thanks!

Is this a big school? If so, no one will probably notice if they've seen you around or not. And even if it's not that big, sometimes being an unknown entity will still work in your favor. At least you won't be "that freshman" everyone remembers from "that night" at XYZ fraternity. Don't overthink yourself into being overly anxious and paranoid during rush next fall, just relax and look forward to the experience.

If you go to USC, you should try to get recs. Recs are no biggie outside of the SEC/BigXII/Big 10, but USC is an exception.I would not recommend saying this. One of my favorite questions to ask PNMs is why they want to join a sorority, and if I heard that response, I would be VERY put off.
Do not try to "eliminate" or "pick" a sorority before recruitment. It will only set you up for disappointment if you get cut by a favorite you had "picked out" before hand, or it will make you second guess yourself if you enjoy your time at a chapter you had previously written off. Some PNMs think they're being open-minded when they think, "I'll join any chapter but the 'low-tiered' ones.":rolleyes: My best advice is to keep as open of a mind as you can until you rank after preference round. Even if your only choices are "low tier" chapters for preference (or even a round before preference), go to the parties anyway. You can drop out earlier than after your preference parties, but wouldn't you want to make sure that you wouldn't fit in to any of you options?

No chapter takes "whoever is left". Bottom line, if a chapter doesn't want a PNM, they don't put her on their bid list.

Your questions are kind of vague, so I'd recommend reading the "General Advice" thread first and then asking any more specific questions you have.

BTW, love the username. :)

It is definitely true that at a big school people will probably not know if they saw you around or not, however, there may be girls who recognize you from classes that you have shared with them.

My best advice is to go through rush, try not to be too shy, think about how to answer the questions "Did you rush as a freshman? Why not?" When I went through rush, there were a lot of girls who were sophomores and we had quite a few in my pledge class. It wouldn't hurt to get recs to all the houses.

Good luck! Let us know how it goes!

Thanks everyone! I will definitely keep you guys posted and make sure to line up recs. And just to clarify, the whole "someone to go out with on Thursday nights" thing was just me picking a random example of what good friends do with each other, I don't just want some nameless drinking partners. Haha :)
I liked the "Don't overthink yourself into being overly anxious and paranoid during rush" because that's definitely what I'm doing. I'll try to chill. Again, thanks!

I think you need to NOT focus so much on your lack of social experiences your freshman year of the who you met and who you haven't, and focus your energies on what you DO have going for you.

If it's a very competitive school, be sure to have:
1) A stellar GPA
2) Recs for each house
3) organizations you are involved in
4) A good reason for wanting to join a sorority, other than "I want someone to go out with on Thursday nights"
5) I'm sure some philanthropy work couldn't hurt you

Go with the flow and do your best. Since you'll be rushing as a sophomore, you will likely need to have all that you can possibly get to make you stand out more since you will be 'competing' for a spot with a whole lot of freshmen.

Stop worrying about the things that you are worried about and can no longer change. Focus on what you CAN change to have a good recruitment.

This is the best piece of advice yet!