Going through recruitment twice?
 

I was wondering if it was common for girls to go through recruitment twice if they felt like they did not find their home at a sorority the first time around? What is your opinion on it and what advice do you have for people considering going through recruitment a second time?

Many people on GC have rushed twice, myself included. Whether to rush again depends on a lot of factors...if you were cut for grades, have they come up? If you didn't know anyone in the sororities, do you now? Etc....

I'd say that the best thing a second-time PNM could do would be to get to know current members. Many PNMs do this by going to summer school, which can also have the added bonus of bringing your grades up.

Well this year my school had about 150 more girls go through recruitment then previous years. So they did drop a lot of people based on grades but i heard it also depended on who you talked to in the chapters. So it was more of a luck of the draw type of thing. For example you would have more of a chance to be asked back if someone said something good about you that was older and more established member of the sorority rather than someone who just joined the year before. Since going through i have raised my grades, been on the deans list and gotten to know several girls in a couple sororities but i know that its still not a guarantee. I'm just afraid to go through it all again and not have it turn out the way i want. Plus i'll be a sophomore going through so I know that it slims my chances of getting a bid as well.

At my school it was a four night process and the second day I went back to my Rho Chi to see what chapters I got and I only recieved two call backs from chapters I didnt feel like i clicked with. I still went the second day to the chapters to see if it was just a bad first impression but at the end of the day thought i didnt find my home. So I did not take a bid I decided to drop out after the second day because I knew that those chapters weren't right for me, and I didnt want to take a bid from a girl who really knew they wanted to be there.

Carnation said it best in asking if anything has changed. You have better grades and friends in chapters. You might have better results this time despite sophomore standing (of course I can't make any promises but I am speculating based on what you told me). I don't think you'd be treated any differently than a sophomore who was rushing for the first time, but understand you may be automatically cut from some chapters based on your sophomore status.
In my experience, an older member's opinion isn't necessarily respected more, it's just that older members tend to articulate their opinions better. Either way, don't worry about something that is beyond your control. There are things you can control, like your grades, getting recs (if you go to an SEC, certain Big 10, or Big XII school particularly), conversation skills, meeting sorority women now, etc. Focus on the things you can control.
If you don't go through again, you'll probably wonder "what if". If you really think getting cut from your favorite chapters would be completely devastating, then don't go through for the sake of your mental health. Sure, it's normal to be upset at first, but most people are able to move on and experience other things at their university.
You understand that as a sophomore, you may have fewer choices than a typical freshman. I'd encourage you to keep going with recruitment through preference night even if you are initially unhappy with your choices. As a sophomore at a competitive school (at least you make it sound competitive) this may be your last reasonably good chance.

I'm not too concerned about my sophomore standing because I know several sophomores that went through recruitment and got their top picks. Also, I know a few juniors who went through as well and they ended up where they wanted to be too. It sounds competitive but its not really a big deal to be in a sorority on my campus. I go to a fairly large school so the number who went through recruitment is pretty small compared to the body of people. Before my freshman year I went to several info sessions on joining a sorority and heard nothing about getting recs. I heard from a few people that it might be a good idea to get one for each house (there are 6). Do you think its a good idea to do so even if its not common on my campus to do so or would it look too desperate idk.

It's always a good idea to get recommendations even if rumor has it they "arent common" on your campus. Some sororities require them before they are allowed to extend a bid/pledge a woman regardless of how competitive recruitment is.

According to my new member manual, my sorority requires a rec to be initiated, but I asked both the VP of New Member Education and the Advisory Board Chairman of my chapter and they both said that we don't get recs for new members that don't have them. So unless the recs are magically and secretly finding their way to NHQ without the knowledge of those two key players, I can guarantee that the vast majority of my chapter did not have a rec prior to initiation as well.

ETA: To the OP, I would ask a friend who is a member of a sorority on your campus about how many recs they get in order to determine if getting recs is worth your time.

One question that comes to my mind,is "Now that you have been on campus, how do you feel about those two houses that invited you back to round two? Do you think you can be more open to your options if you are cut again?"
I say this because you may have had a chance to meet girls in those houses and realize that you would be a good fit.
Also, what will your answer be when you are asked why you dropped out last year? Even if you aren't asked by an actual sorority girl, your answer WILL get back to some of the members and it will be repeated.

I wish you luck! I think if you want to join a sorority, then you should try again. Nothing ventured, nothing gained!

Honestly I feel the same way that I did about the two houses that invited me back. Rumor was that most people were cut due to grades from the other houses because most of the girls picked two houses for skit night so they had to have some way of elimination. I have talked to girls in the chapters that I was asked back to. After rush, one house that asked me back the second night, asked me to come for an informal invite night at the house but I couldn't make it due to a conflict. Also, I have met a few girls from the other house I was asked back to from mutual friends and some girls I know from my high school received bids from the other house. I think I can honestly say that my opinion is the same on them and I'm glad I didn't just join one to join one. If i do I want to make sure its a right fit. Thats another issue I was wondering about..Will girls ask me when and if i re-rush why i am doing it and if so what should i say that doesnt make it sound rude? I think my answer would be that I felt like i didnt find my home but how could i say that to a house if it was one of the ones who asked me back the second day?

Well, I don't think you should say that to one of the ones who asked you back. Can you say something like, "I dropped out last year, and want to go through recruitment again because I realize being in a sorority is something I would really like to do."
I really don't think anyone will ask you directly during rush - but I still am not sure what type of campus you are on and what their Greek system is like, which has bearing on this advice - BUT it wouldn't hurt to start getting your story out there. Do not say to anyone that you dropped out because you didn't get the two houses you wanted. The others who invited you back will cut you because it is common knowledge that you don't want them.
I think you need to convey that you made a rash decision and that now that some time has gone by, you can see that all of the houses are places you could be happy. And, I think others on GC will support that advice. There are great girls in every house. If you want to be in a sorority, you may need to open yourself up to the option of every house on campus. It soulnds like the one house that asked you back to informal, really liked you.
All in all, it sounds like you would like to try again. One more thing, did you say that your grades were not good and you think that is the reason you were cut? If so, say that. "Last year my grades were not as good as they should have been but I have worked hard this year and brought them up to a 4.0, so I would like to go back through rush."

I completely agree...I think the whole "I didn't find my home" is cheesy and a euphemism for "I didn't get a top house and couldn't be bothered with those substandard groups that still wanted me."

Not necessarily. I mean, you would think they would, but

1) voting stuff is supposed to be destroyed after rush is over - if the chapter had a big turnover in their membership they may not remember her, or that she cut them.

2) if the chapters are struggling for numbers, they may be under direction to invite everyone back that they can, even if those people cut them previously. I realize that this is a stupid and counterproductive strategy, but some groups/advisors/etc apparently think it works.

I'm just saying this so she doesn't go into rush thinking "I'm automatically going to get cut from the groups I didn't want so I won't have to deal with them." The possibility is that she very well may have to deal with them the whole way through pref.

Its not even about being in the "top" house for me. One of the ones im interested in is not considered the top house by any means. I really want to be in a house that I think fits my personality and that i can see fitting into. One of the houses I got asked back to was popular but i just didnt click with them. So this isnt about being in the best sorority its being in the best sorority for me, thats why i didnt join the first round.