Pledge possibly lying about military service..
 

We've had a pledge in our house for several months now and he's a great friend of mine. He's a stand up guy, respectful, intelligent, funny, etc. Personally one of the most interesting people i've met in college. One of things that our chapter really liked about him was that he had served tours in Iraq and Afghanistan which we hold very highly in our house. Our chapter has many veterans and our national fraternity itself was founded by Cadets at Virginia Military Institute.

Today I was speaking with a classmate who was in ROTC with our pledge at one point. When I brought up the pledge's name he began laughing and said that he was joke in ROTC and is lying about ever being in the military at all. Also that the ROTC students hate him for lying about his service. According to this kid our pledge completely fabricated his entire experience in the military. Many of the points the ROTC member made began to make sense the more i thought about it and i became suspicious.

Honestly I want to believe our pledge and at this point I do. Right now it's one person's word against one of my close friend's. I'm really looking for advice on a way to find out if this has any truth in it other than asking him directly; which i would feel could be the most disrespectful thing EVER to do to a vet.

This is a situation i've never even fathomed dealing with and i'd appreciate any help you can get me.

I would call your local VA office, explain the situation and see if they can help you out. You won't have any peace of mind until you do, but I agree, asking him and then having him really be a vet would be horrible. However, if he's lying to you he could be lying in other situations (where veteran status could get him advantages your average person wouldn't be entitled to). Good luck and I hope everything turns out OK.

I'd drop him if this can be confirmed. In my mind, it shouldn't take much to drop a pledge. This seems to be something indicating that this fella is a pathological liar. I've known pledges like this as well. Don't worry about it, just drop him. These sorts have a way of "turning" on you after awhile. They can keep up this charade of normalcy for awhile, then they'll go off the deep end.

Just drop him. No pledge should ever cause the house any sort of drama. I agree with you regarding the military service issue as my organization as you probably well know has its ties to VMI as well.

First, if you haven't done this already, have a meeting with your chapter's brothers and tell them about what you've heard about this particular pledge.

Second, have another meeting with the pledge, yourself, the pledge educator, and your chapter president. Give the pledge an opportunity to explain himself, and tell his side of the story. If possible, ask for documented proof that he is in the military, like a military ID card, all servicepeople should
have one.

Third, If you find that the pledge has lied about his service record, discuss, amongst your chapter brothers, possible repercussions for the pledge. This can range from giving him the opportunity to redeem himself in his pledgeship all the way down to his being dropped from the pledge program.

Fourth, reach an agreement with your pledge brothers about what to do with regards to the pledge. Call the pledge back into a meeting with his pledge educator, yourself, the chapter president, etc. and notify him of your decision.

*I know you stated that you didn't want to confront the pledge to his face, but there's no way, that I know of, that you can legally access someone's service record without their knowledge.

I would say, first get the facts. There's no sense in starting out by spreading rumors about the pledge. If it turns out he's lying then go to your brothers.

Best of luck with this. It's a tough one.

i haven't revealed it to any other brothers yet because word spreads and i'd hate to give this kid a bad reputation and find out he's legit.

Keep in mind this information may be confidential, and you may need to explain why it is needed.

Black ball him just for the heckuvit

Only Active Duty will still have an ID card (or reservist) but he should have his formal discharge or release papers. Maybe ask to see his photos from Iraq and see if he is in green BDU's or tan Dessert Camo (which he would be in if he was there). Ask where he was commissioned (if he was a ROTC officer) or where he did Basic Training (if he was enlisted). Find out what unit he was in. Most college ROTC websites have photos or press releases of the kids that just got commissioned. Maybe he quit ROTC and just enlisted? See if his timeline is feasible.

Ask for his DD214.

i agree with leslie anne-don't say anything to anyone else until you truly know the facts. it sounds like you are trying to do the right thing and are taking your time to get it right.

Would this guy be in ROTC if he had already served? I thought ROTC was for PRE-service?

I never knew this phrase existed until GC.

He could be doing a Green-to-Gold program. This is a program for outstanding junior enlisted and young NCOs to obtain their BA/BS and a commission as a O-1.

If he claims he is a vet ask him to show you his DD 214, Discharge Papers and Separation Documents.