Just a Story from a Confused Kid.
 

I just wanted to tell my story and seek a little advice. Currently I am a freshman (just completed my first semester) at Georgia Tech which has 6 sororities.

Last year, after talking with my parents and various other people in my life, I decided I wanted to go through recruitment. Both of my parents were Greek, and I had heard nothing but positive things from both of them. At graduation parties I heard a lot about potential gains from joining a sorority. And I felt good because I felt there would be less pressure than at a school with more women, sororities, and competition. I was really getting excited about recruitment. I got involved with the pre-planning: I asked the director of this year's recruitment about any questions I had, I picked my outfits, I tried to get any concerns out of my head. I wanted this to be a fun time.

Well, the first day came and went. I visited all the houses, I was myself, and everyone was very nice. I had no qualms about any of the houses -- I liked all of them and they seemed to like me too. Things were really looking good. But the next day wasn't so good. When the little schedule sheets went around to everyone in my group, I only had one house to visit. Everyone I saw around me still had 5.

I started feeling really upset. I thought there was something wrong with me. I couldn't stop thinking that if I couldn't make it here -- at a school with so few women on campus -- that there had to be something wrong with me. I remained upset for a little while until I began to analyze how each of the events had gone. The only thing I could really think that had gone wrong, which I could have slapped myself for, was my nervousness. I got so nervous walking in those doors that when I was asked about my high school activities, I could only think of one not-so-important-or-outstanding one. I could have said so many things -- National Honor Society, Beta Club, Newspaper, Orchestra, French Honor Society... I also couldn't think of any questions to ask the sisters so maybe they thought I wasn't very interested. I don't know. I just didn't understand why I was cut the way I was. I haven't talked to anyone who had such a drastic cut as I did. In fact, after the first day of recruitment, I only met one other girl who didn't still have five houses to visit. I still feel sad when I think about it. I wouldn't have felt so bad if I had been at a school with a very competitive rush, but I wasn't. Most of the girls did and do get bids. I only know three who didn't this year -- myself included.

I did buck up a little bit later though. But this year has only made me realize that I do want to go through recruitment again. I have seen what joining a sorority has to offer at my school, and I want to be a part of it. I really have started to love my school and I want to be involved with it in a big way. I want to make my mark. A lot of my friends I have made have joined sororities here, and I really like what they have told me and what I have seen. Plus, I know there is nothing against going through recruitment a second time here; some of the people I know rushed twice and pledged the second year!!

My question is: would it be worth it for me to try again? If I did, could I still talk about what I was involved with in high school? What can I do to show that I am really interested in this and think this is right for me? Last year I asked the director of recruitment about recommendations and if they were very important and she told me that a lot of girls join sororities with no recommendations, which I know was the case with a lot of my friends, but would they be helpful as a sophomore going through recruitment?

Thank you.

I sent you a private message.

Did you go back to the one sorority that invited you? Did they offer you a bid?

It sounds like your nerves got the better of you and the women probably thought you weren't interested. Try getting to know sorority members outside of rush - in class, at parties etc - and call the Greek life office and see if any of the groups are doing COB in the spring.

As far as recs, they never hurt.

i am sorry that things didn't work out for you in the fall.

i would recommend that you experience some new activities on campus, rather than rely on your h.s. accomplishments.

have you joined any organizations at ga. tech? if not, i would urge you to do so spring semester. not only will it give you the opportunity to get to know your fellow yellowjackets, it will expand your horizons. in addition, you will get the opportunity to practice meeting new people and having to make small talk.

greek organizations encourage their members to join other organizations on campus, so the probability that you will meet sorority members in the organization you join is high. sororities are looking for pnms that will become active on campus and will be good representatives of their chapter. show them on paper that you fit that criteria.

also, is you can fit it in, do some volunteer work. find something that will be meaningful to your life and join in. if doesn't have to be an every week thing.

secure letters of recommendation to each of the sororities at ga. tech. while rush there is not as competitive as uga, recs. still help.

use the knowledge you have gained from experiencing rush once to your advantage. you know what to expect, you have seen what everyone wears and you feel that you might have been more outgoing and less nervous. that should give you an edge.

read thru greekchat-we have lots of "dos and don'ts" threads about rushing. good luck.

Also, there is nothing wrong with admitting that you realized you seemed nervous the first time around. If you end up talking to a member that you already met the first time you went through recruitment, I think it's perfectly acceptable to say "There were so many things I wanted to ask you when we met in the fall but I was just having such an off day. I'd love to hear more about your philanthropy opportunities", or something like that. That would show you're aware that their first impression wasn't what you wanted them to see, and that you're eager to show them your true self this time.

whenever I'm in a social situation where I feel uncomfortable, I compliment them on something (their earrings, shoes, haircut, whatever). This not only gets the convo rolling, they remember how sweet you are. Also, wear something memorable.

I agree with the others. Get involved in other organizations and keep up your grades. Maybe form some study groups in one of your classes with some of the Greeks. This helps you to get to know them without the "show"

And, nobody will think badly that you went through recruitment twice.

Not to beat a dead horse, but I would totally encourage you to through recruitment again, but also, get involved in other campus activities.

Like some other posters said, it is helpful to know women in the chapters before going through recruitment again. By getting involved in other organizations (maybe student government, campus event planning orgs, intramurals, etc.) you are able to meet students who are probably involved in Greek Life.

Additionally, being involved with other organizations makes you (IMO) desirable to houses because they want members who are motivated and involved. It's especially nice to not only rely on high school activities, especially if you're a sophomore.

Best of luck!!!

im not gonna repeat everything that was just said--but i will say that even though i dont know you, i totally respect you for even considering trying again, it is always discouraging when things dont work out the way you initially imagined, but i think its even more rewarding when you keep trying.... if it makes you feel any more comforted, i did it :)

I am also somewhat shy when I first get to know people. So when I went through, I made a huge effort to pretend like I wasn't at all. It was hard at first, and a lot of times I felt so sick of talking. I guess I just pretended that I already knew these girls.

A girl in my rush group really wanted to go Alpha Chi and instead got a bid to a chapter she did not want to be in at all. She declined and is now going to rush again next fall. Since then she has become really good friends with a lot of us, so I think it will be a lot easier for her. I am actually glad, because instead of being my plegde sister, I am hoping she will be my little. So everything does work out for the best.

Good Luck!!

I did go back to the sorority I got invited to, but unfortunately this turned out to be a sad day too because I wasn't invited back again. I was really upset this day so I probably didn't seem like a very enthusiastic PNM. I wish I could go back and do it again. On the other hand, I saw one of the sisters who talked with me at that sorority later this semester and the first thing she said to me was, "Hey! I interviewed you at [sorority]! You were really great."

So I guess that's a start. :)

Thanks. I really appreciated it. :)

If you get nervous in situations like these, I would practice beforehand. You know what kind of questions they will be asking from experience, so have an idea of how you will answer the questions. Also, prepare a list of questions that you can ask if you get stuck. Put them on an index card in you pocket in case you need to refer to them quickly on the side if you think you are getting stuck. In short, I would treat this as you would a job interview.

Definitely go out there and do other things on campus. It will give you an opportunity to meet new people and potentially new sisters. I'm glad you are staying positive!