Deciding to take a little
 

Well, you may not know exactly that someone is right for you. Try to find someone who you have something in common with, and WORK for that relationship. Call her and invite her to hang out often. Bring her treats if she's sick. Make her feel special and loved, and she'll reciprocate :) Just try to find someone you 'click' with on a personal level and have interests in common with. But if you don't end up with the girl you wanted, DON'T give up! She and you can still have a great relationship. It happened with my first little and me; I barely knew her, but now we're very close.

I had my little picked out from the first COB party she attended. We just clicked really well, and I ended up taking her to a basketball game the next night and I think we went to a movie soon after that. Unfortunately, the chapter closed before she had a chance to initiate, but I still gave her all of the stuff I had for her that didn't have letters on it (a couple red & white candles, a red, white & gold ornament, some ladybug stuff etc).

My little and I met through my boyfriend at the time before her recruitment and just clicked. She was completely my rush crush! She was my rose sis on bid day and then apparently listed only me for her big during big/little selection. We just had a lot in common personality wise. Then when she got her little it was the same way -- we both just loved her so much and clicked with her. It wasn't so much a mentor situation, more of a "welcome to my sisterhood I want you to love it as much as I do" and treated each other as friends.

Does your chapter do bid day buddies (Rose sister/ Squirrel sis in AGD perhaps?)? How long until bigs and littles are matched? Who has more say in determining the matchup (Do you pick them more or do you they pick you more?) All of these things will play a role in getting a little.

Spending time is key with anyone you want to be your little. Have lunch together, study together if you are in any of the same classes, invite her to go shopping with you, text her after she has an exam to see how it went, be there for her! Spending money on gifts is not as critical (at least I think so), but cards are nice! I've noticed that often women in my chapter will say they want a little, they'll get a heart sister, but then they don't spend time with her, and of course, the new member wants someone else as her big!

My SK family jokes that I "put together" our family. I completely fell in love with the PNM would would later become my little the first time I met her. We were both sophomores when she joined (I joined the previosu spring as a freshman) and she'd actually older than me, so we didn't have a traditional "big little" relationship, but we instantly clicked and knew we would be friends for a long time. The next year, on bid day I met my future grandlittle and introduced her to my little shortly thereafter. The next semester I met my future great grandlittle and knew she had to be in our family. We have a new addition and 5 generations that are very close. :)

I have 5 and they are all awesome. I chose my first set based on personality traits that they both had. They were both involved, I knew them prior to recruitment. One was the little sister of my pledge sister and the other I had had a course with when I was a NM. Then my second set, one is the little sister of a boy who is dating one from my first set. I met her before recruitment when I went to her house for a goodbye party for her brother and my little sis. I thought for sure she'd go to another group, but I was so excited when we got her and I'd drive her everywhere when she was a NM and when she told me she really wanted me as her big, I almost peed myself I was so happy. The other one from that set was a bit more random, but I chose her because she seemed so independent and was so smart. Then my last one is another legacy and also the younger sister of another pledge sister. She appealed to me even before I met her, and then once I met her I knew that she had to be my little. She is just so personable and quirky! The day I met her I was told that she was going to be my little and I almost knocked my pledge sister (the big sister of the first legacy) to the ground! Anyway, picking a little is very important. And if you're lucky (and I have been very lucky!) everything will work out fine as long as you're willing to put in the effort to show her what a great person and sister you are and teach her her history and how to make friends within the chapter. You are really more of a mentor than a best friend, but I can say that I'm besties with at least two of my littles as well! Good luck!

My first little was my rush crush - she came through COB after FR and we clicked right away - I was her first choice and I had made it pretty clear (I was on EC) that I wanted her. My second little was paired with me because EC felt she belonged in my family, and I totally agree that she did. I was a little apprehensive since I was graduating that semester but she got along great with my first little so I didn't worry too much about her with my leaving (they won Frick and Frack the next year). I didn't click with her as well as my first little (whom I lived with my senior year) but I still love her a lot and am glad she's my little.

[QUOTE=violetpretty;1560823].

Spending time is key with anyone you want to be your little. Have lunch together, study together if you are in any of the same classes, invite her to go shopping with you, text her after she has an exam to see how it went, be there for her! Spending money on gifts is not as critical (at least I think so), but cards are nice! I've noticed that often women in my chapter will say they want a little, they'll get a heart sister, but then they don't spend time with her, and of course, the new member wants someone else as her big!

QUOTE]

While gifts were always nice, my chapter is really big on making posters and signs to hang on each other's doors. During big/lil week people sneek and put posters on your lil's door or things in their mail box as hints as to who their big might be.

My chapter now does somthing like "speed dating" as an ice breaker after the new members get their rose sis. All the sisters who can take littles sit on one side of the table and the the new girls move from chair to chair. Its really funny! Also they do "mystery date" -- again the girls who can take littles will leave anonymous notes and messages that say like "meet me at starbucks -- i'll being wearing something pink" and then they get their and have a little coffee date. Its a great way to meet the new girls and find the ones you "click" with because sometimes during recruitment some girls personality may not shine as much.

My first little came to the house, and was very quiet, but I knew there was something about her that I just loved, her honesty I suppose. She came to the house one night while she was new membering and we hadn't chosen bigs/littles yet and we sat out in front of the house and talked for like 3 hours about absolutely everything, and we clicked for that and she was going through some stuff that I had been through. In that way, I became more of a mentor to her. It was pretty much decided that I would be her big straight off the bat. and like Violetpretty said, I pretty much chose our family. I like to groom them for Eboard positions and to be more involved than other family lines.
My second little I contacted through an email our rush chair got from her when she saw a poster for COB. Our rush chair was away that weekend, and I was bored so I im'd her and we talked online for hours, and we hadn't even met! she came through COB and I just loved her.
I was also very close to my 1st little's little (my grandlittle) and my second little's little as well. I'm also close to my great grandlittles even though I graduated, I make a big effort to talk to them, facebook them, and visit at least once a semester. I try to be there for when they get in too.

My first little was President after I was, my second little is currently President, one of my grandlittle's was house president, another is now Social chair, and I'm getting my great grandlittle's ready for eboard too :)

^^ Yeah, my family was known for being on EC as well. I was Ritual and Historian, both my littles were secretary, my big was secretary, my grand-big was president and my GGBig was president and NM Coordinator. Go Star Fam!

We do posters and speed dating as well. I like the mystery date idea!

We have to decide our big/little pairs on bid day. The two that I have had I chose somewhat randomly, and because I knew that even though I wasn't required to take one then, that I could afford the ridiculous amounts of gifts that I am always inclined to purchase. The relationship with your little is really one you create. Just try to remember any anxieties you felt about matching with your big or with the sorority itself, and be sure she finds people she is similar to within your house. Play up the things you two have in common, sure, but also make sure she meets all of your friends and sisters that she would click with. Just keep in mind that until she is initiated, you're technically still recruiting her. Make sure she knows she is wanted and that her membership is important to you and the chapter as a whole. Gifts, calls, invitations to go out, etc. all remind her of this.