Beta Fiction: As Simple As That!
 

As Simple As That!
The foreman looked nervously up at the man in the red hard hat, waiting for him to comment. At moments like this, years of experience counted for little. But the chubby little man smiled as he stared at the machine, then he made a tiny gasp of satisfaction. His short white beard and gold-wire rimmed glasses seemed to smile with him.
"Ah - excellent! It looks fine! Indeed, very good. Who was on it - Tanifiel and Dromivir? Keep up the good work then - and I'll see you this evening at the staff meeting." The chubby little man nodded to his foreman and smiled as he went down the hall towards his office.
"The kids these days are harder and harder to please. All that electronic junk hasn't spoiled their taste for the real thing," he said to himself. "But I have a great team - truly a wonderful team."
The cellphone on his belt beeped twice, "Sir? We have an incoming traveller."
He flipped open the phone. "Viotor? Who is it? Military?"
"No sir. It's the 'underside passage', sir."
"Oh? Who could that be? Don't they know it's my busy time?"
"Er... Control says it looks ..SPITZ... old man ... CRACKLE ... glen... CRAKSPIZzzz."
The chubby man shook his head as he entered his office. "Viotor, you're breaking up."
"Sorry, sir; there's some static here; the aurora is fierce as we approach perihelion."
"I know all about that - just send whoever it is into my office; I'm there now."
"Yessir!"

* * *

The chubby man remained standing behind his desk, looking down at the piles of correspondence that had just come in. It would be a late night again. Then the door opened and an old man came in. He was wrapped in a neat but featureless black robe, and his flowing white beard reached below the rope tied around his waist. In one hand he held a scrap of parchment. He smiled wanly and said, "Good afternoon, sir; I apologise for intruding at this time of year - and for not informing you in advance of my unexpected visit."
"My dear friend!" The chubby man came and shook the other's hand warmly. "Have a seat!" He reached to his desk and pressed a button. "Gilfroni, tea and biscuits for two please, as soon as may be." He took his seat behind his desk and smiled again, a chuckle hovering in anticipation. "What brings you here in early December? My busy season you know."
"I know, sir; it is mine as well, though mine almost always concludes before yours. Finals, you know?"
"Ah, yes. And your charges? Are they well?"
"Most of them are," said the robed man. "Some - well, some are still boys. Others are facing their worst enemies - it's not as it used to be."
"I know; I face them as well. You know what they say about me, and my business. Yet - for the most part, anyway - even some of them are still on my list. And certainly most of your boys."
"I'm glad for that, sir. But we have a problem. As you know, I've had to maintain my headquarters in ..."
"Yes; I've been there; nice place."
"And," the old man continued dryly, "the terms required my use of locals for - uh - security."
The chubby man shook his head. "I was fortunate in my own location, as you know."
"Certainly, but I have tradition to consider. Olive trees and grapes don't grow well around here, and there are other considerations. Up here, people are more concerned about staying alive in the cold than about learning."
"That's why we built this complex," the chubby man commented. "Of course we do most of our own training on-site, and..."
"The requirements are entirely different," interrupted the old man. "Sorry, sir. But as I was saying, someone has been going around on that new-fangled communications gadget, publishing IDs for our security staff."

The chubby man sat up. "You're joking."
"Not at all. And you're familiar with the peculiar hazards of identity theft in such cases - there is serious risk of compromise."
"You mean..."
At this point, there was a knock on the door. The tea service was brought in on a cart, loaded with toast, cookies, and little cakes.

After the servers had gone, the chubby man resumed.
"You mean that the - the actual names of security staff... their names have been revealed?" He shuddered slightly as he picked up a piece of toast and buttered it.
"No, sir. That's what makes this case so strange, and why I thought to consult you. You see," the old man sipped his tea, "the name that was published was not anyone's name on my staff."
"Indeed?" The chubby man sipped his own tea. "Try one of those iced things; they're new this year; we get them from Greece."
"Yes, I've had them, of course; they are good - but your cookies are something to write home about," he said as he selected another. "Ah yes. Where was I?"
"Not the real name."
"Yes. I've written it out for you." He handed the other a scrap of paper. "I have no idea how to pronounce the barbarous term - a Latin ending but jammed with Greek phonemes - that nasty ds and a labial mute - aspirated of all things! My research staff thinks it may derive from a Semitic term..."
The chubby man tried to pronounce the strange word. "But it's not a real name? No one on your staff by that name?"
"That's right. Not in any of my records."

The chubby man pressed a button on his desk. "Gilfroni, come in please."
In a moment, the door opened. "Sir?" The company uniform detracted nothing from her loveliness.
"Take this to Records; we need all available information. Come back quickly with whatever they are able to get. Thanks."
She nodded and left without a word.

The room was silent as the two finished their tea. A few minutes later Gilfroni returned. "Nothing in Records, sir. A few similarities here and there among the archives, but nothing in our active files." She handed the scrap back to the old man.
The chubby man shrugged. "There you have it, my friend. Completely spurious."
"But... but...." began the old man. "Where did they come up with this ... this word?"
The chubby man dismissed the secretary with a nod. "No idea. Does it matter?"
"Er. Frankly, sir, it's my security chief who's most uncomfortable about this. Quite nervous. Not sleeping well. Won't eat. Snappish, even to friends."
"Oh. I see. That is a worry. I'd just as soon move the plant to Mount Etna or that silly island in the mid-Pacific. Whew." He sat back, closing his eyes for a moment, and the old man waited patiently. "Have you talked with the local authorities?"
"They could offer no suggestion. In the end, who could I turn to? I decided to consult you."
"Well, I've got no idea... Wait." The chubby man sat up, then leaned over to one of the lower drawers of his desk. "You know, I wonder if it couldn't be..." He flipped through some files. "Yes, here he is. It was some years ago... It all comes back to me now.... yes, certainly - it was just as you describe! Our foreman had been just like your security chief. Personnel had an odd little problem at that time - oh, yes, I forgot, they call it 'Human Resources' these days but here that would hardly be... Ahem." The chubby man cleared his throat, and put the file down on his desk. "In short, one of our staff was completely mis-assigned. We made special arrangements and he's in practice now, doing quite well. In fact, I have an appointment sometime in January..." He flipped through his desk calendar, nodded, then turned his gaze to his visitor. "I'd have your security chief see a dentist. This may be a simple problem after all - you know, a problem with his teeth."
"Really?" the old man was startled. "A dentist? As simple as that?"
"So you'll have a co-pay; big deal. It's worth it, for peace of mind. I'd have you bring him up here, but the travel expenses alone..."
The old man shook his head. "No, that's ridiculous. We have excellent dentists... uh, nearby." The old man tilted his head as if considering the oddness of the idea, shrugged, then stood up with a smile. "A dentist! I never suspected it could be as simple as that."
"Well, it's just a guess," said the chubby man as he stood, and walked toward the door. "But if that is the problem, I imagine you'll see immediate improvement. Tell you what. I'll be in your area later this month; I'll stop in and see how you're doing."
The old man nodded his thanks to the secretary, and followed the chubby man down the hall. "That would be kind. I'll be free then, but I'm not going anywhere until next summer."
"Fine. What a gratifying day this has been! Production is humming nicely; we just got some new machinery up and running, so we're a bit ahead of schedule. Would you care to stay for dinner?"
"No, I have to get back. I have a lot of worried people waiting to hear about this problem."
"I understand. A safe return, then, and see you later this month."
The old man shook hands with the other man. "Thanks so much!"
The chubby man beamed with smiles. "Anytime, good friend - you've been of assistance to so many others, I am glad to help you when I can."

Thank you
 

Thank you, Dr. T. for this neat little story.

But why in the blazes was your other stuff removed and then put back up?

Good Story, Dr. T!

Hey NickoJCU - glad you liked it the first time - but now that you're a brother, try reading it again, and SEE if anything strikes your EYE.

And while you're at it, try reading some of the other postings from our lore, especially the ancient ones.

Notice anything? No need to reply here. And now I think you understand that long (and now-vanished) discussion. Though perhaps the issue of koph and sampi will still challenge `oi barbaroi. Too bad.

It will only get better as time goes on.

--Dr. Thursday