Between a Rock and a Hard Place.
 

After being waitlisted from a few of my top-choice colleges I made two decisions: I decided to attend a local school, and I decided the community service and sisterhood provided by a specific sorority would be the best way to become acclimated to college life. Though I was a bit disillusioned after initiation, I worked towards creating stronger relationships with my sisters--and it did help a little.

Meanwhile, I devoted a lot of time to athletic and academic pursuits and did considerably well in them. And all of this work didn't go unnoticed--professors, bosses, advisors, internship committees, all of them began to tell me to re-apply to those top schools. The strange thing is, I really do want to do it. Yet I feel that I would potentially anger my sisters in my attempts to transfer. If I was to begin the application processes, my schedule would become much more hectic. Not to mention, I would ultimately be leaving my sorority.

I cannot help but feel torn....some sisters might be upset with me. In all honesty I originally could not even fathom transferring (because I'd given up hope), but after my first year and all the positive reinforcement I want to go for it. It's like a personal dream of mine...

What should I do and what are my options? If I were to leave, would there be tension between my sisters and I? I know that theoretically they would support me...but I fear it'll be much different.

I understand it might be a difficult decision to leave your sisters behind, but at the end of the day, you have to do what's best for YOU. If you spend your life worrying about what other people think of your dreams, the simple truth is, they won't happen. If you have an opportunity to transfer to a better school that will increase your chances of success in the future and it's a dream of yours as you say, then you should go for it.

Your sisters may well be upset/angry/displeased that you're thinking of leaving, but you can sit down and talk to them about why you're planning on transferring (or applying to transfer), and explain that it's a dream of yours and leave it at that. Hopefully they do support you, but you can't do much about it if they don't.

It's not strange at all to want a better opportunity for yourself, ESPECIALLY academically, so don't demean your own aspirations. Apply, see what happens, and let the chips fall where they may. Good luck!

I have to agree with mystikchick who gave you great advice.

Keep in mind that the number one reason for going to college is to get an education. If you have a chance to go to a college/university that better suits your needs and will provide a better education, that should be your first priority.

A true sister or friend will want you to achieve your dreams. If any of them aren't supportive, then they don't have your best interests at heart and, as such, don't deserve your concern.

Best of luck to you!

Somehow, prewired in the human condition, we always catastrophize potential situations, thinking the worst will happen, only to find out on the other side things were much better than we imagined they would be. Don't be afraid to take a chance to fulfill your dreams. If you sacrifice what YOU want in order to placate to your sisters, you will undoubtedly be filled with regret, and possibly resentment for your sisters for "holding you back." ( I use quotes here because the only person holding you back is you.) I'm sure if you explain that you have goals in life that you want to achieve, you'll find a lot more support from your sisters than you give them credit for presently. I just don't want you going through life asking the question, "What if?"

Is this a local or a national sorority? If its National, then you WILL form new bonds and hopefullu join the chapter at your new campus. If its a local, then you have the opportunity to join a whole 'nother organization to add to your experience.

An earlier poster said it best about the REAL purpose of college!

While the only one who cam make this decission is you, what are you looking for?

Do you want to belong to a group for Life or a club that after 4 years is over?

You may keep a few good club or teqams friends or would you like to become a member for life with thousands of members?

This your call only.

College is not about being Greek. It's about maximizing and using your learning potential. I cannot imagine that any fellow member, especially not on the level of the whole, becoming angry at you for tranfering schools.

I am going to say this as nicely as I can. Now is not the time to do things based on what your friends might think. That kind of thought process ended years ago. Make an educated decision, tell your friends, and go. You can continue your relationships.

Only you know your options. You don't need us to make a big-girl decision like that. Good luck in whatever you choose!

Good thing that it's her call too, Tom, because the what you advised really has nothing to do with what she asked. She's joined a sorority so I assume she is already a member of a group for life. She's asking about transferring to a different school, not choosing athletic involvement over sorority involvement.

The real question is: where is she going to get the best education and prepare herself best for what she wants to do in life? And you are right that only she can answer that question.

basically, you got to do you!!! you got to do whats best for you, so if that means goin to a top school, then by all means do it. if they aint gonna be happy that you're tryin to better yourself...fawk em!!! i mean, cant you transfer chapters or anything like that?

One thing that you need to remember, is that you are in college first and foremost for your education.

Thank you texas*princess!!!!

Apply! Apply! It's a hassle, true, but that's minor in the grand scheme of things.

You applications are your business and the business of your recommenders only. You don't have to discuss your plans with anyone else. If and when you are admitted, THAT is the time to weigh the pros and cons of leaving. And trust me, when you have that dream-school acceptance in your hand, it's not going to be difficult to say yes.

What kind of "top schools" are we talking about here? (We're not going to be able to identify you just because your dream school is Stanford or whatever; every dream school is a dream school to thousands of people.)
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Emanuel4u live

We had a similar/recent situation with one of my pledge daughters. She was the life of our chapter. Things are not the same without her. We were disappointed that she decided to transfer, but it's not like we hate her for it or anything. We can't wait until she comes back for the Holidays.

Your sisters may be upset for a while, but I doubt that they'll stop talking to you or anything. If they are truly good sisters they should respect your decision and be happy for you. Hell, if they like you enough they may pay for your plane/train/gas/lodging if you decide to visit them in the future.