boys
 

ok why are guys soo diffucult can any1 anwser that

Hrmm . . . That's a tough one.

On page 3 of the infamous Guy Manual: How to be a Man, under frequently asked questions, it says:

"We men are kind, honest, noble, affectionate, attentive, deeply feeling, and incapable of making mistakes in relationships -- Beause we are too sweet."

"Any misunderstandings are not our fault because, as the universe knows, men are completely empathic and understanding. "

It goes on to say that the above should be our official response to any questions about our hypothetical shortcomings. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/cool.gif




[This message has been edited by James (edited January 06, 2001).]

James--thank you so much for responding to this ancient post! I was about to write something nearly identical to it!

Why can't guys understand when you just want to be friends!!!!! Don't you boys understand body language???? I mean if a girl keeps trying to take a step back, why the hell do you go in for the kiss????!!!! I'm so annoyed right now. I have to figure out if I can still be a long distance friend w/ this guy after he leaves and not have him expect anything when he returns home. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/confused.gif WHY WHY WHY does this ALWAYS happen!!! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/mad.gif

This has to be one of my favorite types of conversation topics because the problems between boys and girls are so prevalent and resolving them are really so important.

IT is cliche to say that love makes the world go 'round . . . but if you look at our culture the vast majority of our mainstream music, tv, and film uses love (and its variations) as a primary theme.

This being said I'll take a stab at SoCalGirl's problem, using some of the general conclusions that we guys have come to (backed by a little research into relationship theory and occasional readings of Cosmo) http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif.

This part is some background theory . . .

Yes we understand (for the most part) that someone might only want to be friends. Although, we don't always understand what that means.

You forget that many times girls (I am sure boys do it too, but I believe to a lesser degree) cultivate surogate relationships (those "sweet guys" from other posts?) with men that satisfy many of their emotional needs whether they are committed to another intimate relationship or not.

I believe we have all seen some relationships between a boy and a girl that look so much like "couplehood" that its a surprise to here they are just "friends". And sometimes its even more surprising when we discover the girl has a boyfriend!

I don't know what girls think when they see that but we boys see it as Chris Rock's "Penis under glass". And I have seen some potentially good relationships ruined because the person in the glass clase had too much influence. As we know, subtle influences can kill a relationship.

Back on track here . . . if you guys communicated a lot, and bonded he might very well have begun to cherish some romantic thoughts towards you. This would be normal.

Especially if you were sharing and bantering in a similar way that we are "supposed to" (what is supposed to happen and what does rarely equal) with our significant other.

Also, long distance relationship can be even more emotionally intense because its hard to screw up from far away, and since many normal conversation clues usually aren't there like body-language and tone of voice we can ascribe more meaning to communications than might have been intended. The person is easy to idealize and fall for.

A little more specific . . .

Yes he probably read your body language right but didn't want to accept it. And if he never tried he would never know (assuming he isn't one of us boys that just ALWAYS tries).

And of course you can go back to be long distance friends . . . that is if he wants to AFTER you tell him you don't want to be anything else.

That is all you have to do, say listen I am not sure what is going on here, but I think your awesome and I want us to be great friends. Remember there is no "nice" way to tell someone you don't like them. That goes for break-ups too. You just have to leave them with NO doubt, and hope he isn't a stalker http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

Well this is getting long if you (or anyone) have any other questions about the male psyche, like we don't take the trash out or leave the toilet seat up, just address it to Dear James http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/cool.gif and my team of able researchers will examine the problem http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

This topic makes me think of that movie, "What women want", with Mel Gibson and Helen Hunt. If we could only read their minds.

-one of those sweet guys.

Kevin

No I don't think that you do that. The reason that I said that is because of past experince. I lean in for a kiss, she steps back. So I don't try anymore. Then the next day her best friend asks me why I didn't kiss her.

oops. I wasn't done. So I told her I thought she wanted me to back off and she said no she was just playing hard to get. So I stick by my statment that girls are confusing.

It's nice to know there are sweet guys who communicate (and expect it from girls as well)! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

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Always
Seek
Knowledge

Alpha Sigma Kappa - Women in Technical Studies

Don't you boys understand body language???? I mean if a girl keeps trying to take a step back, why the hell do you go in for the kiss????!!!!

Sometimes guys do this because we think you want us to. We might misinterprent it but some girls take a step back to play hard to get or whatever, and what us to make an effort before a kiss.

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No one conquers who doesn't fight.

Billy Optimist, I hope you dont think I do that. I certinally dont force anything on a girl. Whether she doesnt make it clear to me its ok or she actually says no. I always make sure that shes comfortable. Patience, respect and Trust are huge to me in any relationship.

Right now I am so frustrated with guys I'm considering joining a nunnery. I'd go into my problem, but this guy has me so digressed back to high school, the most mature thing I can say about it is, "He's a big stupid head!"

http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/frown.gif I'm sorry SHSUChiO. If you ever need to talk...

Billy,

I agree. Girls can be confusing sometimes. Thanks equeen http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

Along this thread guys . . .

Women want Sweet men . . .

Remember the movie Bedazzled? Elizabeth Hurley, not a lot of clothing?

Yeah, remember when he became Mr. Sweetness, I mean sheez he could sing and draw and cared about others . . . all qualities I lack. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/cool.gif

But she couldn't take it anymore . . . and left him for the boy that kicked sand on him?

Those are the facts my friends I suggest we all just accept them, adapt and redo our approaches http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif.

Well the original question asked "why are boys so difficult?" Well the answer is....it is fun. It is really fun to confuse a girl, to make her think like we have been thinking for years. Sort of a payback thing.