What is the it factor for you to separate a friend/lover?
 

What is it for you that separates someone who's a friend from someone who you want to be with? Is it a specific trait? Is it a specific feeling? Is it not quantifiable?

What is the it factor for you?

For me, its all about chemistry, which in a way is one of those non quantifiable things, but you sometimes 'just know' the difference. There is that spark or that look or that feeling. There is that sense of explosiveness or closeness that comes from just being around someone...

Do you think that 'it' can grow or be born if it wasn't there at first? Someone you were platonic with for years, could you one day realize, wow, there IS something there? Is the opposite true as well?

For me, it's learning from that person. I minute i've learned something valuable from the guy, all of a sudden i'm like "yowza! you're hot!"

guess it's why i fall for teachers, professors, guidance counselors, coaches, tutors and men generally older than me.

Yes! This has been the "it" factor for me as I've gotten older. When I meet someone that is so knowledgable about something (or several things), that's a really attractive quality to me. I'm talking to someone now that is really into politics. I've never been into politics, but I could listen to him talk about it all day! lol! I just love to hear his perspective on it and why he decided to get involved, etc. So these days, I'm starting to go for really educated guys. Lately, anyone that I've met that has not completed their college educations (or even begun them), usually get put in the friend zone ;) Nothing against them for not pursuing their education, but I just find that the conversation can be lacking in areas.

Another "it" factor would be guys that are really goal-oriented and actually try to accomplish their goals. I've met a lot of guys that have a lot of goals, but don't really try to accomplish any. That's such a turn off and they usually end up just being my friend.

tequilla

well, whichever comes first... ;)

If I am having sex with her she is a lover, if I am not she is a friend. Simple.

Mojitos or cosmos will do it for me ;)




Seriously though: Do you EFF your friends?

For me it's the physical appearance 1st. It would be very hard for me to remain friends with someone I'm physically attracted to. On top of that if she's funny and makes me laugh, and she's someone I can connect with emotionally. Also, she has similar moral values too.

Really, I don't have any female friends and I never have had any. Someone always seems to want something more so for me it's always been in a relationship status, never friends. I just don't think men and women can be friends without someone wanting more. In some rare cases it happens though, it just hasn't happened for me.