Competing for the opposite sex. What would you do?
 

This is kind of long, but try and answer all of the questions if you can. These questions are for the women and men.

1. If you met a man/woman and you knew he/she was talking to another man/woman, but not seriously involved yet, they were just dating and talking. Now, you really found this person very attractive and you loved this person's personality. Would you try and steal him/her away by competing with the other person, or would you just not get involved knowing he/she is seeing someone else?

2. Lets say you met a man/woman and he/she was in a relationship with someone else. You just happened to work with this person and you two always would go to lunch together. Now, remember you are really attracted to this person. Would you try and steal him/her or would you keep it on a friendship level?

3. Last question. If your fraternity brother or sorority sister or friend's relationship didn't work, and you always thought he/she was very attractive, and that person started to like you. Would you go ahead and get involved with him/her knowing you're friend sorority sister or fraternity brother still had feelings for him/her or would you keep your distance?

I wouldn't bother. I can sense the drama that might cause between myself and the other woman and I don't have time for it. There are other people I could get involved with that aren't currently dating other people.

I'd stay friends with him. You never know, they might break up down the road or something.

I would never date a sister's ex, even if she "said" it was ok. Girls always say "Oh yeah I'm so over Mike and you can date him." Then they change their mind once they see you two happy. I've lived in a sorority house and seen the drama that can cause.

As you can see by my answers, I am not the competitive type.

[quote=PrettyBoy;1457207]This is kind of long, but try and answer all of the questions if you can. These questions are for the women and men.

1. If you met a man/woman and you knew he/she was talking to another man/woman, but not seriously involved yet, they were just dating and talking. Now, you really found this person very attractive and you loved this person's personality. Would you try and steal him/her away by competing with the other person, or would you just not get involved knowing he/she is seeing someone else?

In this case it is better just to stay out of the way of the relationship...if you get involved then you get caught up in someone else's mess. Also, by "competing" you are setting yourself up to get hurt, played, etc..why go through all that?

2. Lets say you met a man/woman and he/she was in a relationship with someone else. You just happened to work with this person and you two always would go to lunch together. Now, remember you are really attracted to this person. Would you try and steal him/her or would you keep it on a friendship level?

This one may seem tempting...but from what I've seen work and play NEVER mix.

3. Last question. If your fraternity brother or sorority sister or friend's relationship didn't work, and you always thought he/she was very attractive, and that person started to like you. Would you go ahead and get involved with him/her knowing you're friend sorority sister or fraternity brother still had feelings for him/her or would you keep your distance?

We all know that this one is a definite NO-NO. You should have more respect for your org than to put a man/woman before that bond...but the sad thing is that it happens (and even between REAL family members!!). Sad...but true...

My answer is no to all three questions. If I answered yes to the 1st two, I would just totally be setting myself up for heartache. The 3rd question is by far no way. I would never ever date any of my sisters ex boyfriends nor would I date any of my friends ex boyfriends. Plus for the 1st two questions, I wouldn't want anyone to take my guy from me, so why would I do it to someone else?

Definite NOs to the first two. Not worth the pain and hassle.

To the third one, I would only let it happen if the feelings were gone on both parties. Not if she still had feelings for him. But if they ended things very early on because they were just not a good match and did not have much chemistry, then perhaps.

I am very competitive in most other things- but not in this realm.

I'd have to say definite nos to 1 and 2, just because no person is worth competing for... if they like you, they do, and that's that. If not, forget about it.

For number 3, most guys I know would definitely not mess with a friend's/brother's ex girl, simply because of the "trifling factor." BUT, I think that it's not so cut-and-dry. Considering the fact that there are only so many people in this world you may be compatible with, it would be too hasty to ignore the possibilities with someone simply based on who they dated previously.

Of course, if they were still in love with that person, you're just setting yourself up. But that goes for whether or not you know the ex.

I've done #1 & #2 and won. It was in highschool, nothing serious.

I don't mess with #3 though.

I'm probably in the minority, but I don't see the problem with #1 (well except for the whole "competing" and "stealing them away" thing). If I met a guy and he's not in a committed relationship, why isn't he free game? What happened to dating? As long as all the parties know that its not monogamous, I don't see any issues. I just don't like the "competing" and "stealing away" thing, because it implies that you're doing something wrong. If I met a guy and we click, I'm not going to compare myself to any other woman he may be seeing. My behavior and interaction with him won't change just because he may be spending time with someone else. IMO, no one has a claim on anyone unless they've decided to be monogamous.

I wouldn't do #2, if someone is in a committed relationship that should be respected.

#3 is also out...there are too many fish in the sea to risk ruining a friendship.

1. If you met a man/woman and you knew he/she was talking to another man/woman, but not seriously involved yet, they were just dating and talking. Now, you really found this person very attractive and you loved this person's personality. Would you try and steal him/her away by competing with the other person, or would you just not get involved knowing he/she is seeing someone else?

Before I met my now-husband, I probably would have dated the guy if he told me (and was honest) about not being seriously involved with someone else. I wouldn't consider that "stealing" if the two weren't an item, only talking.

2. Lets say you met a man/woman and he/she was in a relationship with someone else. You just happened to work with this person and you two always would go to lunch together. Now, remember you are really attracted to this person. Would you try and steal him/her or would you keep it on a friendship level?

No. But perhaps I would consider it if the relationship ended.

3. Last question. If your fraternity brother or sorority sister or friend's relationship didn't work, and you always thought he/she was very attractive, and that person started to like you. Would you go ahead and get involved with him/her knowing you're friend sorority sister or fraternity brother still had feelings for him/her or would you keep your distance?

Probably not; however if the feeling was mutual and I knew there was no chance of the two reuniting, I would ask my sorority sister if it was okay with her.

1. Yes, I would compete if I knew that they weren't serious. If I felt that they were becoming more serious, I would bow out gracefully and move on to the next fella.

2. Friendship only. I don't disrupt relationships.

3. Keep my distance. It's "the code." Even if she said it was okay, I know that (unless I was so madly in love that I couldn't stand it) the relationship I might develop WOULD NOT be worth the drama I'd have to endure to begin/maintain it.

On #3 I think people can be really ridiculous.

My best friend (Nicole) is engaged to a really great guy (Paul). Before they dated, the man in question dated another 'friend' of mine (Dawn) for two months then broke up with her. She fell very hard for him and basically obsessed over him for like 18 months afterwards (it was kind of pathetic, she had him on this pedestal as a perfect man and they were together for literally 2 months).
Well, Nicole and Paul really started to like each other (2 years after this breakup with Dawn) and Nicole thought it would be prudent to ask if Dawn would be okay with Nicole dating Paul. Dawn says, "it's none of my business who you want to date, I don't have a right to stop you." Nicole is the type of person who will respect you and your feelings-if you say you're not cool with something, she won't do it.
So Nicole and Paul get together and Dawn flips out and cuts off the friendship.
I lost a lot of respect for Dawn after that and we don't talk anymore.

In high school, what used to happen among my friends is that one of us would start dating someone, then we'd inevitably break up and our ex would then be integrated into my circle of friends and date others within our little group. Nobody really cared.

The first two-I'll say no. Messing with someone else's interest or SO is not cool.