rushing and the dues question
 

I didn't really say anything. I just smiled, nodded, and said "Ok". I didn't express any concerns until after I pledged and it came to time start writing checks. Turns out that my whole pledge class had concerns about it! I just wouldn't say anything about how you were going to pay the dues until you pay them.

Ow, ow OWWWW my eyes....

oh god, as a former FVP...this hurts...

I cannot STAND girls who go through recruitment without a CLUE about money and then "oops, I'm de-pledging, I didnt realize it cost so much" ESPECIALLY when the chapter tries to tell the financial responsibilities up front. Retention is a big thing, and losing someone to not paying attention at recruitment really annoys me.

I would rather a PNM express her concerns during recruitment, then to make the decision to depledge later, for financial reasons

I think it's important for a PNM to understand that asking questions about finances is not going to get her cut... this is a big purchase and everyone needs to know the cost before making a big purchase! I think this is a reason that girls are afraid to ask about money during recruitment.

I agree. Every sorority on my campus gives out financial pamphlets with cost info (including housing costs) in them during rush. It annoys me when girls depledge and say "it's too expensive" when they SAW THE FREAKING SHEET and they had EVERY opportunity in the world to ask questions.

I think it has alot to do with girls being excited to join and THINKING they can afford it. They don't truly take a minute to think about their budget and what they can actually afford. Then they actually start paying for things and realize that they bit off more than they could chew financially.

My advice to PNMs is to really be honest with yourself and think about what you can afford before you decide to join. You'll save yourself alot of disappointment that you'll experience if you end up having to depledge.

While I agree that it's good to be honest if there could be a financial problem, I don't think it's necessary to say what the OP said. Saying something like "Thank you for that information, it shouldn't be a problem" or "I've got that covered" is fine. It doesn't matter *where* the money is going to come from to pay those dues.

I would say something like, "That's all? I thought buying my friends would cost much more!"

i would just say "thank you" or "thank you for the information"when you receive the sheet of financial obligations and leave it at that.

I think saying "I've discussed it with my parents, and I am prepared to take on the expense" is a good response, because, IMO, chapters like to hear that your parents know and support your decision to rush/pledge. If you just say "Ok" or "I've got it covered", it doesn't give the impression that you have thought about it in advance. OTOH, you want to avoid the sense that you are not taking any responsibility for it.

The thing is, no one in my pledge class depledged because of the money! Our chapter worked with us to get our dues paid on time. We didn't comment on how expensive it was because we didn't want to get cut just because we couldn't afford the dues. So I didn't mean to start a riot. We all paid our dues on time and were initiated last night.

Or you can just comment, "Thanks for explaining that. I really like XYZ and the dues seem very manageable."

I know for us we aren't allowed to talk money with the girls during recruiment. The Rho Chi's are very trained to deal with it, and we are to refer them to their group leader about that sort of thing. We do ask questions about if they have a job, class loads, that sort of thing. Most girls joining are aware of a financial obligation, and it's not been an issue.

Agreed. The house doesn't need to know anything more than the fact you can afford it.