Help me tell my boss...
 

I know this should go in the career forum, but this one gets more traffic...

Please help me tell my boss I'm unhappy :(

Here's the deal:

I've been working for ABC since February. I got a promotion after being with the company for about 5 months which was awesome. The problem, however, is that at the beginning I was hesitant to take it because I wasn't sure the position was for me.

After a ton of reassurance from everyone, I went for it.

Two months later, I am just so frazzled. This position should have been somewhat similar to my old one, but it just isn't and I'm not finding myself happy.

I don't know how to articulate this ... I know I need to find a purpose for the whole talk... (like what kind of resolution I want out of it) but I'm really not sure.

There is a position open in the same company that I think I would really like... it's more of what I want to do long term and even though I know it will be crazy, I think I may be happier.

Before I even think about pursuing that, however, I want to talk to my current boss.

Help?

Should I lean towards the other position? Should I stick it out?

I don't know how to have this sort of talk and it's something that needs to get out there because I've been miserable. :(

I think you should go for the other position. What about the current job makes you unhappy? Is it something the company can change or is it just not the best match for you?

wow were are in almost the exact same situation!

honestly, its not worth your happiness to sacrifice. do you think you were perhaps promoted too soon? you say youve only been there for 5 months. maybe you can talk to your boss and recommend who you think would be better for your current position? or maybe ask for his support in pursuing the other position?

There are two very important (and related) rules for you to remember here:

1 - You will never get what you want from your boss unless you ask for it
-This means ask directly, and do not beat around the bush or 'hedge' . . . make your desires clear, have support for your points, and have an idea of what you're looking from the situation before you walk into the boss's office

2 - Most people are not good at 'reading' the situations of their subordinates
-Your boss will most likely be 'blindsided' by your situation . . . unless you've been overly clear about the troubles you've been having and your desire for change, your boss is not looking for those signals. Because of this, your boss will have very little in the way of 'help' for you, at least at first - simply put, your boss will most likely be moderately to completely unprepared to ameliorate your situation, and thus any input you can give at the time will be vital to making good things happen.

This means that, if you want the other position, you'll be able to walk in, give your reasons, explain why this is a good move, thank your boss and probably not burn too many bridges. On the other hand, you cannot at all expect your boss to provide you 'help' - he or she probably won't know what to say, so you need to say it for yourself.

A tricky one.

If your boss is a reasonable person who you like, or at least trust, I would approach that person first. Focus on the fact you appreciate working for the company, but indicate the mismatch of your skills and hopes with the current position. Tread lightly overall. Perhaps even just get a conversation going about the department in general and don't even mention your own issues.

If you are not confident in your current boss however,

If you know and have some kind of interaction with the person who would be your supervisor in the other position, I would approach that person and see what he/she thinks about you coming into that role.

This is all a delicate balancing act at this point.

Your goal is to get to the new position.

Your first decision is to decide which boss is most likely to help you with your goal- is your current boss the best choice to push you into that new role, or is your potential future boss the best choice to pull you into that new role.

Make your decision on that.

And proceed in an above-board way to avoid hard feelings. If you think your best bet is to get your potential new boss to pull you over into that department, that person can help make it happen in a way that does not reflect poorly on your current boss.

But if your current boss is a total schmuck, that might not matter and you could just skip the niceties if the potential new boss is eager to get you on board.

That last bit is vital. Whatever you decide to do- it is a good idea for you to ask around discreetly and find out if you would be welcome in the new position. Don't jeopardize what you have until you know what you want is possible.

Feel free to PM me on this if you like. I have actually talked to people about this kind of thing before and I am happy to offer my advice with more facts on which to suggest the proper course.

Thanks so much for all of the responses so far!

I think the thing that drives me crazy about my current position is that in my last one, I was able to use my people skills a lot more than I can now and leverage those for the business. There are people who lean more towards the people-person side and people who lean more towards the number-people side. (The awesome ones are the ones who love both.. I am not so much one of these!)

It's not that I'm dumb and don't know how to do the job, it's just that it's not as people-oriented as I'd like for it to be. (And I know some people will say "it is what you make of it.." but seriously, this is a whooooooole other animal. The people I work with now do not want much of anything to do with building relationships)

Additionally, it is just sooooo crazy. I feel like I'm fighting fires 98% of the time and don't have time to do the job I'm being paid to do. On one had, I don't want to be crazy, but on the other, I feel like if I can do this for a few months and come out alive without medication or therapy (:p ) I'll do OK in the professional world!

The new position will definitely be crazy and maybe a bit more intense at the beginning, but I think since that's more on the path of what I want to do 'when I grow up' I'd be more inclined to put up with it.

I made my long-term goals very clear when I interviewed for the promotional slot, so it's not a secret that I don't want to be doing that part of the business for the rest of my life. My previous boss also knew my long-term goals and actually encouraged me to go for the "next step" which would be my current position because he thought being there would equip me with a set of skills that I would need someday down the road.

Last night I weighed out the pros and cons of the new position and the pros/cons of staying where I'm at. I'm deadlocked :p

I want to be completely sure that the new position is what I want before I mention it, but at the same time even if I decide to stay where I'm at, I guess my boss should still know that my job is driving me crazy?

Just one more thought, courtesy of Erma Bombeck- The Grass is Always Greener Over the Other Septic Tank.

Reading this last post it just occurred to me to mention that. You know best since you are there in the thick of it, but beware of a position that seems better but could have just as much pressure as what you are doing now.

Take it from someone who has "been there, done that" and left a job after 8 days (but on good terms miraculously) when I miscalculated how much better a new position would be over one where I was doing good work and was appreciated.