Question about Affiliation
 

I've done some searches about transfer and affiliation and I haven't been able to find the answers I'm looking for. I thought maybe some of y'all would be kind enough to help.

I am currently a sophomore initiated member of Kappa Delta at a small/medium sized school. I love my school and I love my sisters even more, but due to financial reasons I am forced to transfer next semester to another school where I can receive in-state tuition. Unfortunately, this means I will have to leave all my friends and sisters behind. This dissappointment was somewhat appeased when I realized there was a Kappa Delta chapter at the school I plan to transfer to. However, I was very recently dissapointed to hear that due to the popularity of this chapter on campus, others in the past have not been accepted for affiliation.

This is really discouraging for me to hear. While I think I'm pretty, nice, and very active in my chapter (Asst. Recruitment Chair). I'm worried that I am not on par with the girls of this chapter. Although KD is a strong chapter on my campus, recruitment at my school is not nearly as cutthroat as at this school. I'm so worried that aside from not knowing many people at this large school, my sisters will not accept me.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation? What can I expect when I request to affiliate? I love being a part of my sorority and I know I will feel so hurt if I can't continue to be an active collegiate member of KD.

I'm also really worried that even if they let me affiliate, I still won't fit in. I'm not trying to discount myself, my chapter at my current school is pretty competetive and they chose me to become a sister. However, this school is a different league entirely. I know this is a terrible thing to worry my sisters won't want me, but I really am nervous about transferring to such an enormous school where I won't know anyone, and maybe won't even have my sisters.

Sorry for such a long post, but if anyone can give me some information or just encouragement, I would really appreciate it. I also don't want to reveal either school, as I haven't broken it to my sisters yet that I will be transferring. :(

Thanks for listening,

Lauren

I would contact the chapter at your new school ASAP. Perhaps if you communicate with them early in the process, the transition will be easier.

As I am not a member of Kappa Delta, I absolutely cannot speak for that sorority. That's my disclaimer, so in order to really answer your question about affiliation, you have to talk to the appropriate people in KD.

However, I can speak very generally about my personal experiences with people who've gone through an affiliation process and hopefully you'll get some comfort out of it!

From what I understand, sometimes it doesn't matter how involved you are with your current chapter, how wonderful of a person you are or how well you'd fit in with the girls of the new chapter -- it may just be their policy at that time to not accept transfer affiliates and it has nothing to do with you. It's not necessarily that they won't want you, it may just be a policy that nobody on the chapter level can do anything about. You are a member of your sorority because other members saw in you the qualities they seek for membership. If you cannot affiliate, for whatever reason, that does not take away from the fact that you are and always will be a KD.

In my own personal experience with AXO, we've had girls affiliate from other schools and girls from our chapter have transferred and affiliated at other universities. In both cases, these girls have gone through periods of uncertainty -- they've asked themselves "Do I really fit in here? Do these girls really want me here, or are they just appeasing me?" I am happy to say that these fears have been unfounded and all of these women have gone on to be successful and valued members of their new chapters. I'm not going to lie, there was an adjustment period -- for themselves and their new chapter while they were getting to know one another -- but they said it was no more "uncomfortable" than their new member period and once they made a few friends, everything was fine.

If you do affiliate, you have to trust yourself. There are all different types of women in every chapter, and you are bound to find members you click with. I think your fears and worries are natural, but if you do affiliate, I really think that you'll definitely find other members with common interests.

Finally, think about whether or not you would want to try affiliating right away (this may or may not be feasible depending on KD's rules). Transferring schools is a huge change and, if possible, maybe you'd want to wait a semester. That way you can get settled in, and possibly "test the waters" with that KD chapter by getting to know some women. At the very least, you might have so much adjusting to do in your new environment that it would be stress overload for you to try affiliating with a new chapter. Just a thought. :)

Talk to someone in KD right away, because all my stories and advice will be useless if this is not feasible -- only KD can let you know how to definitely proceed. Good luck with everything, and I wish you the best with your transfer!

Maybe they all just really sucked, and you don't, and everything will be fine. :)

There's also the possibility their motives weren't as pure as yours (i.e. they purposely pledged KD at a small noncompetitive school or a weaker chapter and then thought they could transfer and easily affiliate with the superchapter at your new school - there are threads on this) and the sisters told them to take a flying leap. Then again that would also go in the "really sucked" category.

Contact KD, contact the new chapter if you can and see what happens.

I'm a Tri Delta and my situation is very weird. I transferred from UND to UIdaho. Recruitment at UI is more competetive than recruitment at UND. Before transferring, I contacted the chapter and explained the situation. They put me on the phone with an extremely sweet girl (who eventually became my roommate). Tri Delta has a policy that, if the chapter has room, they must accept your affiliating transfer. UIdaho even placed me in the appropriate rank order with the juniors, rather than with the incoming freshman.

Later, I found out that at Idaho, I would need to do another 2 years of school, but at UND I could graduate the next semester. I transferred back to UND. Upon transferring back to my original school, I considered affilliating, then decided to remain a "member at large," where I remained a Tri Delta, but was not a dues-paying member to the local chapter. My original chapter was very hostile to me due to this decision.

If you're an intiated sorority member in good standing transferring to another university where there is an active chapter of your sorority, you have two options:

1) Take alumna status. You will not be a member of the chaper at your new school and this means no sorority socials, meetings, dues, etc. You can join an area alum association and freely associate with whomever you please.

2) Coordinate with your current chapter president and adviser to file transfer paperwork. In most cases, the chapter at the new school where you will be attending must vote to accept you as a transfer member. This is not a guarantee, but worth considering if you want to continue to enjoy the benefits of collegiate membership. If your transfer is accepted, you pay dues and fulfill obligations to the new chapter once the outcome is received and you are voted into the chapter. If your transfer is declined, you will be granted alumna status (see option 1).

Only your sorority knows the procedures. Start with your current chapter president and adviser. You may also want to call the transfer university's chapter president to introduce yourself and maybe see if you can come by and introduce yourself in person to meet some of the members to better help you make the decision if tranferring into the new chapter is right for you.

why don't you contact the kd chapter once you transfer? let them know that you are a sister, and that you are considering applying to affiliate, so you would like to meet them and get to know them better. you could take it nice and slow, and if you felt like you and the chapter were a match, then you could start the affiliation process. best wishes to you.

on a side note, on the a o pi chapter website at auburn university, they say that if you are an a o pi transfer student, that they would love to get to know you. i think that it sounds so friendly and welcoming. too bad all our chapters don't come across this well.brava to them!!

Someone who did this was very much in the news (and discussed on Greekchat) a couple of years ago. The second school's ABC's welcomed her with open arms.

Did it turn the chapter around?

I'm sure it can happen, but not quite the same - I would think it would be more that the girl is uncomfortable with the girls in the new chapter because they're so different.

I believe if I had to move to a weak greek school I probably would not reaffiliate.

(From the "AOPi at Arkansas" thread.)


Is that why you have not affiliated with your fraternity at Arkansas?

Thanks ladies!
 

Ladies,

Thank you so much for all your kind words of advice. I'm sure I can tell you now that I am transferring from the College of Charleston to Auburn University. The KD chapter at Charleston is awesome. We really have some great girls. However, I believe any school as small as Charleston would certainly pale in comparison to Auburn University. All you SEC ladies can vouch when I say AU is quite cutthroat. Regardless, I have told my chapter at Charleston that I will be transferring, and I will meet with our president about how the procedure works. As far as spending some time with the girls at AU before I transfer, I really don't have time for that. I'm planning on contacting some girls I know through friends over Christmas break. Anyway, thanks again for all your suggestions and help. I really appreciate the understanding y'all have shown me. I really hope my sisters at Auburn can learn to love me. I have heard so many wonderful things about their chapter. No matter what, I know I'll always be a proud KD.

Greek love to everyone,

Lauren

Wow, this is news to me. I had assumed Greek chapters would welcome a transfer sister from another campus. My only similar experience is with the Junior League. It is a right of membership for a member in good standing with her current League to be able to transfer her membership. It seems only right that a sister in good standing should have the same privilege.