Alumnae/i: Do you gossip about actives?
 

I'm probably going to step on some toes, and honestly, that's not my intent, but I still have to ask:

Alumnae/alumni: do you gossip about the actives from your house?

I was at a party recently where a group of sorority alumnae - all of them 30 and older (except for one recent graduate) spent the lion's share of the evening gossiping about what's going on in the active chapter.

Now - I'm a former chapter adviser, so I know it's tempting to get wrapped up in the lives of the actives (although I was pretty firm about not crossing that line). But as I sat there with MisterMadly, all I could think was these are grown women who would much rather talk about the lives of nineteen year olds than the things they're doing in their own lives. I was shocked.

It wasn't sad, but it was incredibly frustrating. I felt lost and out of place because (1) I don't gossip, and (2) at almost 38 years old, I just don't have all that much interest in what 19 year olds are doing, and -- not to be ageist -- but been there, done that (20 years ago), and would rather not talk about it now.

How involved in the lives of actives are you? At what point do you think it's time to stop gossiping about college/university kids and to start talking about the things you're doing as an active, contributing alumnus?

There are a few individuals within my Junior Circle that still gossip. For those unfamiliar with the Junior Circle, it's the alumnae group geared for sisters 35 years of age and younger. Being that many of them are recent grads who were in chapter at the same time with the same sisters they talk about, I figured it was only natural for that to happen.

I don't see it with the older alumnae, however. Any talk of the collegians are usually chapter related and never about their personal lives. I'd find it really odd if a "slightly older sister" went on and on about what so-and-so did at the bar the other night. :eek:

At Alumnae events, the older alumnae often want to know how things are going in the chapter as far as recruitment, grades, etc... but that's about it. We have more fun hearing their stories of the things they did when they were active that were considered "risque" 50 or 60 years ago.

As far as alumnae who are younger, we're more concerned about which alumna just got married, had babies, is moving, etc... than chapter gossip.

Nope. First of all, I'm nowhere near my chapter of initiation and don't know the day-to-day goings-on there. When I go to APO alumni events, we talk about people who were active when we were and what they're doing, or things we did in our active days. If we do talk about active chapters it's APO-related things, not "OMG I saw X, Y and Z in the bar and they were picking up guys left and right!"

We talk about the things going on at chapters but not about the people specifically, unless whatever is going on was a result of a specific person.

I have been at functions where people have gossiped about other alumnae (and their vehicle citation records) but never the actives....I don't think anyone is 'connected' enough to do that.

Ah. I guess this gathering was just an exception.