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-   -   too taboo? ... please help. (https://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=78323)

bellanoche 05-27-2006 01:54 AM

too taboo? ... please help.
 
alright so i've been reading all of these entries about how not to talk about the 4 B's ... and ive got a question.

my junior year in high school i got an MIP, it wasn't me being a heavy partier or anything and i basically drank that night because i needed something to take my mind off my dying grandpa. well that backfired because as most of us know ... alcohol is a depressent. my friend ended up consoling me and told me to just go lay down in her car and she put on music for me and i fell asleep. (no, not pass out) .. well later that night she decided she wanted to hang out with her boyfriend so she drove her car to a park, left me there and got in the car with her boyfriend. the cops show up, breathalize me, and i'm MIPed. the thing is -- this was the biggest life changing event for me. i quit drinking, i started becoming really involved in my school work and was motivated to become a leader and an activist against drinking. i started doing volunteer work and spending more time with my family .. it ended up really changing me for the better.

i feel like this is such a huge part of who i am today and it has resulted in something so positive. it's something i would WANT to share at rush but is it a good idea???

Stef the Pef 05-27-2006 02:19 AM

That's actually a pretty amazing story. It's best to avoid discussion of drinking at rush, so you might just want to leave it with the activities you got involved with POST-MIP if you're rushing at a competitive school. On the other hand, it might cause you to stick in your rusher's mind and you'd come off as more genuine and a great potential new member.

If you're asked about why you got involved with those activities, don't lie--telling the truth is going to be more endearing than avoiding it just because it's on the list of topics to avoid. When they talk about subjects to avoid, it's usually the "I GET WASTED EVERY DAY BECAUSE I'M SOOOOO BAD!!!" side of drinking that would make you come off as...well, less than desirable. Your story is legit and I wish you the best of luck!

You probably wouldn't have time to tell the entire story, anyway. Rush conversations move quick--parties are usually 30 minutes to an hour long (I think our pref is only ninety minutes long?) and you get to talk to a lot of different girls.

SoCalGirl 05-27-2006 04:17 AM

Honestly it's such a crap shoot sometimes I would just avoid the topic. You'll likely talk to about five girls in each chapter each day. You're just as likely to tell your story to a girl who will think it's wonderful as you are to tell it to a girl who will want to flee to the hills. Concentrate on the activities. If someone asks why you activate against drinking then briefly tell her. You don't have to sugar coat it but you don't have to, and likely won't have time, to give all the details to do it justice.

dgdramadawg 05-27-2006 09:28 AM

Avoid the topic. That's an amazing story to share during pledge meetings, but it's too risky to share during recruitment. I agree with the above comment about sticking with the things you've been involved with since then.

texgal 05-27-2006 01:12 PM

I'm going to agree with the others and say to avoid the topic at Recruitment. The 4 B's are good topics to avoid, simply because they can be taken the wrong way, which is why many chapters tell people to avoid them. Also, it's good to focus, at first, on what you'll be bringing to the chapter and what they can give to you. The only night I can think of this being brought up may be Pref, but at that point I think it's better to focus on sisterhood and the future rather than the past.

aephi alum 05-27-2006 02:37 PM

Alcohol is a thorny topic. Some people might not be able to see past the MIP, even if it was the motivating factor behind your getting involved in more activities and volunteer work. If I were you, I'd stick to talking about those activities and volunteer work, and not mention the MIP.

KSUViolet06 05-27-2006 02:42 PM

Ask yourself this: Would you bring it up during a job interview?

It's not relevant, so I wouldn't bring it up. Just stick to talking about you and what you're doing in the present.

This seems like something you'd bring up to people after they've known you for awhile.

kddani 05-27-2006 10:40 PM

I don't think it's appropriate to bring up something so deeply personal so early on. Sororities don't run background checks. HOWEVER, if there are people from your area in any of the sororities that may know about the incident, that may be an instance where you may want to bring it up during recruitment. Otherwise, I would avoid it. It's too personal to bring up to someone that you barely know so early on.

adpiucf 05-30-2006 09:29 AM

AVOID THE TOPIC.

Zillini 05-30-2006 09:43 AM

I agree with the others 100%. While a great story, it's TMI for Recruitment.

Plus there's always the possibility that the actives might misunderstand or misinterpret what you are trying to say. If the Chapter in question is a relatively dry house, they may frown on your experience even if it did put you on the right track. Or if the Chapter enjoys an active "social life" it might make you look as if you don't approve of that.


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