Getting pregnant before marriage
 

I was talking with a friend about this. She said she had friends that dropped out of school or never went to school and got pregnant. I was like listen d, I guess I grew up around people from good families because that stuff didn't happen and if it did it wasn't to anyone I knew that well.

What are your thoughts on it?
Did you know anyone that was knocked up before marriage?
How would you describe them (poor, trailer trash, ghetto, etc.)?

-Rudey

are you serious?











no, really, are you serious?

-tld221
--either way, my gavel is out, cause i'm totally judging you.

What she said!!!!! Seriously Rudy, sometimes you completely come from left field.

There is a certain validity to Rudey's questions.

I think that society views having children before you get married differently than having a child after being married.

Especially if the mother is young, or there is more than one child and they have different fathers.

As far as how young mothers with no husbands were viewed . . . If they were poor there was a trash component to the way they were viewed. If they came from some money they were just deemed irresponsibile, or unlucky.

As a general rule, I have never seen a girl that had a child young and unmarried that achieved their full potential, economic and educational.

But I have never really seen women that married young do that either so who knows?

Also, I have yet to see a young male that has to pay child support really succeed.

Our homecoming queen got pregnant senior year of high school (after she was homecoming queen). She pretty much hid it until graduation - she was kind of short & round to begin with and had huge boobs so it was easy to do. :) She was from a good family, all the kids were popular, and the guy who married her the same. They are still married 20 years later.

Rudith you need to see this movie!

http://www.relishmagazine.com/websit...or%20keeps.jpg

I'm totally serious. It's more prevalent amongst those from lower socio-economic backgrounds. That's not saying that a socialite from Park Avenue couldn't get knocked up, but it's more than likely she won't.

And then there's the issue of kids born out of wedlock. What if the dad decides he doesn't want to live in the trailer with this girl he got preggers and run?

So a lot of guys are like "Damn, I don't want that baggage" and don't give those girls a chance because they don't want to share a trailer with them.

And even the couples that do marry get snide remarks about them. Look on this board and you'll see girls always talking about how they like being single and laugh at those who marry young and say they won't last.

-Rudey

I can't believe I haven't seen this. It's now on my netflix list. :)

-Rudey

She will, but she'll have the money to a) go to France for the year and then give it up for adoption or b) pay her fancy Park Avenue doctor for an abortion.

Trust me, LOTS of girls, and probably some you would never expect, find themselves in this situation.

p.s. You can do a Molly double feature with The Pick Up Artist where she Does It in the back of a car with Robert Downey Jr and dirty talks. Midnight Express was less disturbing than that little interlude....

Midnight Express is very disturbing. I was cold, I was so cold.

Oh, Billlyyy

This weekend, we saw Jimmy Pardo perform . . . he's probably the best comedian you've never heard of. He was riffing a guy in the crowd, it went something like this:

Sir, are you a married man? Yeah? Excellent - how long you been married? 4 years - wow, how old are you? Jesus, 23 . . . 23 . . . kid? Yeah? Let me guess - 5 years old?

Perfection.

Maybe it's that the poorer, probably less-educated, girl is surrounded by people who made that exact same choice and doesn't see anything wrong with it. I think a lot of people see it as, "it was good enough for my parents/grandparents/siblings, and it's good enough for me!"

I never understood it. I mean, it's not hard to not get pregnant.

I think a big part of this discussion is to define "young." Are we talking 16, 18, 21, etc.? I got married at 24 (my wife was 23), and I had quite a few people say "Well, aren't you a little young to be getting married?"

That said, I think environment does have a lot to do with it. I know of a couple of places of women who had babies before they were 20, and it was actually more acceptable in those households/families than going to college. They were starting a family, while going to school would have just been delaying the family. I have quite a few family members (on one side in particular) who feel that way; me going to college (and eventually law school) and even getting married couldn't hold a candle to having a kid.

There are definitely exceptions to the rule, women who have children young or before marriage, and who are fantastic mothers. It can work both ways, and that should be acknowledged.

I couldn't imagine being a teen parent, or even a parent before I graduated college, but that's just me. I was in no way ready or mature enough for that.

My Jr. Year this girl got preggers. She tried to hide it, but the whole school new. It didn't help that she was poor. The principal had her line up outside infront of the school while we all threw rocks at her.

Accidents happen.

can't take you seriously if youre not gonna take yourself (or the scenario in question) seriously.

-tld221
--oh yes, still judging you.

(and i agree with 33girl