Beyond Weird: An Iowa Man's "Contract of Wifely Expectations"
 

My jaw dropped when I read this!

"Wifely Expectations Contract"

Disgusting is a better way to put it......

She married him. I have no sympathy.

'

James, it sounds like he presented this warped contract after kids entered the marriage.

This guy should be locked up.

I don't see any problems with my contract, you closed-minded hookers, and I'll thank you to stay out of my personal affairs.

-RC
--Stands for "tRavis frey the C is silent"

LOL contract.

She didn't know he was batshit crazy before this?

Ahh, I only skimmed the first page. It kind of lost me after it said she had to perform any sex act he wanted any time he wanted.

I thought it was a joke . or a wish list.

This is amazing - "All applications of lube to myself, you or any object will be done by you."

I don't even know what to say.

I have to agree there...

I guess I was just floored by the amount of time and thought he put into the "contract". I mean, he even specified the length her pubic hair should be! Who does that??? lol

Why did she marry him? Anyway, he apparently took this very seriously, so I went ahead and read through it carefully. IT IS HILARIOUS! (I WISH my man would try...)

Particularly humorous elements:

A -- During My Time you -

WILL:

5) Perform any and all sexual acts, excluding anal penetration and/or ingestion of cum, when told to.

(And I note that under Fellatio, Intercourse, & Other Sex Acts, she gets 14 GBDs for anal intercourse not expected. So, if she does it...she basically gets two weeks off from doing ANY work. What was he thinking :rolleyes:)

B -- He apparently didn't realize the absolute madness of parenting when he made these rules.

C -- Dressing Up

"All skirts no lower then two inches below the knee (unless it's for Church)

(Unless it's for CHURCH??? LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!)

D -- Quarterly Negotiation

"By the end of the fist day of each quarter you are to choose your 'pet name' that you want me to call you by. Your choice must meet my approval, and noncompliance will be a 20 GBD loss."

(Dang girl, 20 GBD loss? So sad.)

Actually some of the things I wouldn't mind doing for my husband...but if he tried to regulate them?!?!?!?!? Where's my gun? :mad:

OH - note she didn't actually sign it!!!

It's funny that the contract is really only about sexual things. Does this man not care at all about their finances, housekeeping, parenting, meal preparation, etc? He should have been more thorough:rolleyes:

Women, you can all learn from this:

straight men who want anal have something wrong with them.

FA SHO!!!!!!!!!

I certainly hope not. Batshit, indeedy!