Things You'd Love To Say At Work
 

1. I see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to
pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in
public.

5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my
way.

6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

10. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...

11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.

14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point
of view.

17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!

20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

23. And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be...?

24. Do I look like a people person?

25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?

34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

36. Chaos, panic, & disorder-my work here is done.

37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

Re: Things You'd Love To Say At Work
 

Thank you Soror cause you must be reading my mind. I'm a silent person but inward I'm thinking especially #6.

Pardon me for crashing, but I think I need to print that out for my office!! And include, " 38. One more bit out of that apple, and I'm whipping out the Luger!"

39. Do you see concern on my face? If you do, let me know so I can change it.

40. You are a figment of my imagination.

41. Do you kiss a@@ on the weekend or just during the weekday?

42. Your pot-luck string bean casserole tastes nasty.

43. Do the supervisor have prostate cancer, cause you are really far up his a@@?

good one!
 

43. Did you just leave the club and come to work dressed like that?
(every office has a hoochie)

44. Although you aren't speaking english, I STILL know you are talking about me; quit being a punk.

45. you should have never got a promotion.

I could use over 1/2 of those today! People are just on my nerves lately!
I need a breather!

This applies to my co-worker right now:

14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

Shut. Up. Already!

46. I'll do my work, and you do yours. I have a mom that lives 3 miles from my house, I don't need one at work too.:p

47. You must be related to Charlie Brown's teacher. When you talk, I only hear, "WONK...wonkwonkwonkwonk."

48. Can I have the abridged version of what you call an explanation?

For those who have co workers who have no morals at all...


Who the hell keeps stealin my pens?!!

Re: Things You'd Love To Say At Work
 

While I do find them them all very funny, my personal fave is:
24. Do I look like a people person?

Things I'd LOVE to say at work...
 

.... is a simple STFU! :mad:

unabbreviated, of course! ;)

Sorry to crash, but I really needed that list after a crazy Monday like TODAY! Thanks Ninja Poodle!

:)

I showed these to a co-worker and she laughed her head off!