Needing advice about joining
 

I've got a little bit of a dilemma (and be patient, because it requires a little bit of background info). I'm a second semester sophomore, and I rushed both freshman and sophomore years. Freshman year, I decided I didn't feel comfortable enough at any of my 3 remaining houses to accept a bid, so I didn't fill out a bid card. I hadn't planned on rushing my sophomore year, but I became really close with four or five girls in one house, and they talked me into it. Unfortunately, I had had a bad year academically (my major was definately not something I was suited for) and my GPA was under the requirement for every house on my campus except one, including the one my friends are in. I dropped out at this point, because the only reason I had rushed was to (hopefully) be a part of my friend's sorority. Since rush ended, I've become very close with most of the girls in that house; I'm there a few nights a week, and my nickname is "Honorary" (since they consider me their honorary member). The problem is with another house. Both times I rushed, I was pursued pretty heavily by this other house, but I never really considered joining them, because, although they are an amazing chapter nationally, they don't have a great rep on my campus. They invited me to some spring recruitement events, and I've gone to one and plan on going to the next one. They are really nice girls, but I'm having trouble deciding what to do. So here's the problem: I don't want to alienate my friends in the other sorority, because they are my best friends, and I don't want to feel like I can't hang out with them as much. Also, I'm worried about the rep of the spring rush house...would it be worth it to join a sorority at this point, or should I just keep things as they are?
Thanks for sticking with me through this ridiculously long post, and for helping me out with this!

do you have the option to rush in the fall? has your gpa improved enough that you could join your honorary sorority?

Why would you be alienating the girls in the other sorority? If you didn't receive a bid there, and there is another group wanting you, and you can see yourself a part of that group, go for it. I don't know that I would rush a third time, but that's just me. Do you want to join the one having spring recruitment, or is this your "last ditch effort"?

If you like the other group, then give it a try. If the 'honorary' girls are your true friends, they will remain your friends regardless of the letters you wear. Keep us posted.

Thanks for the replies y'all :) Just to answer a few questions, at my school, you can only rush as a freshman or sophomore, so informal rush is sort of a "last ditch effort" for me. I decided to take it one day at a time, so I'll definately keep everyone posted on how the next round turns out!

Good luck! Either group would be lucky to have you.

I doubt that this is an actual Panhel bylaw....if it is, it would violate national NPC bylaws. Any undergraduate woman is permitted to rush.

Having had someone be an "honorary" member of our chapter only for her to turn around and join another sorority, I will state that if you join the other house, it's unrealistic to think that the first group won't be upset. Quite frankly I don't understand why you're even looking at this other chapter. If the only reason you are is because they have a low enough GPA requirement for you to get in, that's a really bad reason to join anything, let alone a sorority. It just sounds as though you want to have your cake and eat it too.

How do you know that when this poster has only made TWO posts on this board? You don't know anything about her.

I'm agreeing with kddani here. Remember while although it's almost always good to encourage someone to rush, and to wish them good luck, advise them to follow their heart and all that jazz, it's best not to say things like, "Any group would be lucky to have you" when in fact we have not the faintest idea of who the OP is. It can instill false hope that will make her look back and go, "But so and so said they would be lucky to have me! Why didn't I get a bid?" At which point she will be directed to James's thread answering that question and then will burst into tears and never be the same again.


This is not to say that the OP is such a loser - this is a general example.

mv93 - I would personally advise you to get your GPA up for your own benefit, and not to join the other house. If my sorority was someone's last ditch effort, I'm not sure I'd want them to join. You don't sound the least bit interested in them for themselves. If you have been seen as an honorary, and you get your GPA up, you never know what opportunities could present themselves in the future.

When I rushed I had a 3.0 G.P.A and I had to have recommendations to get in; it wasn't that difficult for me. Here is some advice on rushing.


#1 Don't call members Soror if you are not a member.
#2 Don't refer to yourself as a future(What ever organization you are interested in or a future AKA,ZPB,OPP, etc.)
#3 Never where the organization colors to their event.
#4 Don't try to and mock their calls or any greek organization at parties or events....ex: do strolls, chants, call,etc.
#5 Sorors and Frats carry themselves as ladies and men nothing less of.

Good advice, but I the impression that I've gotten is that she's been rushing for NPC sororities. It's a whole different ball game. Although a 3.0 and recs wouldn't be a bad idea - they would be a big help.

When I said "last ditch effort," I was quoting something another poster had said...I realized how harsh it sounded when I reread it a little later. I genuinely like the girls at the new house, which is part of my problem, because, if I had gotten to know them this well the first time I rushed and before I had a "set group" of friends at school, I would have definately wanted to join. And 33girl, thanks for your perspective on the issue; it's hard to see it from their point of view, so it's good to hear from someone who has been there. Thanks again everyone for all the advice and support (and some needed criticism :))--I'll keep you posted.

Still our sorority might not be NPC, but we do the same thing that they do;we are trying to get our sorority Inc. The people that sponsors etc. are apart of national organization. Of course there is always a dark side of organizations people just don't say anything. Our sorority doesn't take everyone that wants to get in, some people walk with their head hanging low because they don't get in; they think because one of their friends pledge they think that it is easy when it isn't.

I fail to see the relevance of this post in regards to what the thread starter asked in her first post.

In fact, I can't even understand what the hell you're saying.

And apart does not = a part. That is all.

First time I've agreed with OTW, but I have to say ditto!