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It's hard to be a Jew on Christmas...

It's hard to be a Jew on Christmas
My Friends won't let me join in any games..
And I can't sing Christmas songs
Or decorate a Christmas tree..
Or leave water out for Rudolph
cuz there's something wrong with me..
My people don't believe in Jesus Christ's divinity..
I'm a Jew, a lonely Jew.. on Christmas.

Hanukkah is nice, but why is it,
That Santa passes over my house every year?
And instead of eating Ham
I have to eat Kosher Latke..
Instead of Silent Night
I'm singing hou-hazch-tou-gavish..
And what the fuck is up
With lighting all these fucking Candles, tell me please?
I'm a Jew, a lonely Jew..
I can't be merry, cuz i'm Hebrew.. on Christmas.

Hey Little Boy, I can't help but hear,
You're feeling left out of Christmas Cheer..
But i've come to see that you shouldn't be sad
This is the one month that you shoud be glad..

Because it's nice to be a Jew on Christmas
You don't have to deal with the season at all..
You don't have to be on your best behavior, or give to charity
You don't have to go to grandma's house with your alcoholic family..
And I don't have to sit on some fake Santa's lap
And have him breathe his stinky breath on me!
That's right! You're a Jew, a stylin' Jew..
It's a good time, to be Hebrew.. on Christmas.

You know when you’re a gentile without shit to do on Christmas it’s always good to know a Jewish family. Tonight consisted of getting shit faced at Molly’s Pub and tomorrow will be a turkey dinner. Why they eat turkey on Christmas day is supposedly a throw back from a convert’s mother and a tradition they have kept up for one reason or another. I find it a lot less embarrassing to impose myself on a Jewish family. No one ever bothers to ask why you aren’t doing anything for Christmas and they just treat it like any other day, which is nice.

Don't worry, even as a Jew, you always have Mr. Hanky, the Christmas poo!

"Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo
He loves me, I love you
Therefore, vicariously he loves you!"

Happy first night of Hanukkah!

Even though my whole family is Jewish (minus my dad, but he goes along with us), we always have a big dinner on Christmas (think Thanksgiving).

Yum :)

Quote:

Originally posted by kddani
Don't worry, even as a Jew, you always have Mr. Hanky, the Christmas poo!

You've truly filled my heart with joy.