Humor in uniform
 

ALWAYS AIM TOWARDS THE ENEMY."

_ Instruction printed on US Army Rocket Launcher

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"ONCE THE PIN IS PULLED, MR. GRENADE IS NOT OUR FRIEND."

_ US Marine Corps

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"CLUSTER BOMBING FROM B-52s IS VERY, VERY ACCURATE.__THE BOMBS ARE

GUARANTEED TO ALWAYS HIT THE GROUND."

_ USAF Ammo Troop

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"IF THE ENEMY IS IN RANGE, SO ARE YOU."

_ US Army Infantry Journal

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"A SLIPPING GEAR COULD LET YOUR M203 GRENADE LAUNCHER FIRE WHEN YOU LEAST

EXPECT IT. THAT WOULD MAKE YOU QUITE UNPOPULAR IN WHAT'S LEFT OF YOUR

UNIT."

_ US Army's Magazine of Preventive Maintenance

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"IT IS GENERALLY INADVISABLE TO EJECT DIRECTLY OVER THE AREA YOU'VE JUST

BOMBED."

_ US Air Force manual

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"TRY TO LOOK UNIMPORTANT; THE ENEMY MAY BE LOW ON AMMO."

_ US Army Infantry Journal

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"TRACERS WORK BOTH WAYS."

_ US Army Ordnance

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"FIVE-SECOND FUSES ONLY LAST THREE SECONDS."

_ US Army Infantry Journal

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"BRAVERY IS BEING THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS YOU'RE AFRAID."

_ David Hackworth

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"IF YOUR ATTACK IS GOING TOO WELL, YOU'RE WALKING INTO AN AMBUSH."

_ US Army Infantry Journal

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"NO COMBAT-READY UNIT HAS EVER PASSED INSPECTION."

_ Joe Gay

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"ANY SHIP CAN BE A MINESWEEPER . . ONCE."

_ Anon

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"NEVER TELL THE PLATOON SERGEANT YOU HAVE NOTHING TO DO."

Unknown Marine Recruit

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"DON'T DRAW FIRE; IT IRRITATES THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU."

_ US Army Infantry Journal

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"IF YOU SEE A BOMB TECHNICIAN RUNNING, TRY TO KEEP UP WITH HIM."

_ USAF Ammo Troop/Sad

Seen these before. Funny stuff.